


Remember me || WinterWidow ✔️

by Mystique1250



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, F/M, Falling In Love, Falling In Love Again, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Natasha Romanov Feels, Regaining Memories, Romance, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Tony Stark Has Trust Issues, True Love, Trust Issues, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-04-11 16:43:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 33,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19113679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystique1250/pseuds/Mystique1250
Summary: After Bucky returns, Steve tries everything to bring back the memories of his best friend. So he asks the Avengers and especially Natasha for help. But Steve doesn't know anything about their common past. Can Natasha help them bring back Bucky's memories? And do old memories perhaps also bring back old feelings?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language.

The streets of New York were pouring with rain and Steve couldn't wait to get back to the apartment he had provided for his best friend Bucky. He tried not to let the food he had gotten from the Chinese get wet. However, he succeeded only partially.

When he arrived at the front door, he unlocked the apartment door relieved and stepped into the hallway. All his clothes were soaked and he began to freeze slowly. So he quickly ran up the stairs until he arrived in front of the apartment and also opened this door quickly.

"Steve", a male voice sounded muffled from the kitchen: "Is it you? "Yes, I'm back," he said, putting her food on the shelf in the hallway and then going to the bathroom to throw his soaking wet jacket into the bathtub. Then he stepped into the kitchen with the food in tow.

There he saw his best friend Bucky Barnes, who was already sitting at the kitchen table looking at him expectantly. "Hey," Steve greeted and shoved the food over to the dark-haired man before he went to one of the kitchen cupboards to get his plates and cutlery. Hey," Bucky replied, "and Steve could hear him ripping the plastic bag open. Apparently Steve wasn't the only one who almost died of hunger. "It's really pouring out of buckets outside," he said and started setting the table.

"Hmm," Bucky mumbled, however, and seemed quite absent. "Bucky," he asked and waved his best friend's hand in front of his face: "Are you listening to me at all? He blinked several times and Steve saw his eyes clear slightly: "I'm sorry, I had a short dream".

Then Bucky handed Steve his food and took his own and a fork. "What were you thinking about?" Steve asked and then slowly began to eat. "Oh, nothing important", the other one simply gave up and continued to poke around with the cutlery in his food without concentration.

Steve raised his eyebrows and looked at him inquiringly. This depressed silence did not look at all like his best friend. Anyway, it had never been like that before. Since Bucky had reappeared in this century, he had changed a little. But that didn't change the fact that he was still his best friend.

Although he had no idea what his best friend had gone through while he was frozen in the ice himself, and probably couldn't imagine it at all, now they were both back. They were finally reunited and Steve wanted to help his best friend find himself again.

Because right from their first meeting he had noticed that his best friend didn't really remember anything about his past. When he asked him about it later, Bucky confirmed this assumption. And even though he kept playing it down, Steve knew that it would be harder on Bucky not to know who he had been than he would ever admit.

"Come on, Bucky," he tilted his head slightly and looked at him a little reproachfully: "You know you can tell me anything." He really wanted to help him and couldn't have it when he saw that Bucky was suffering. Bucky sighed, but then opened his mouth and said, "It's just ...". "What? he asked immediately and wanted to get him to keep talking like that.

"Do you feel alone here?" he asked him and swallowed. Although he tried to visit the man as often as he could, his duty to the Avengers was great and the team regularly asked for him. Besides, he didn't live with Bucky in the apartment, but with the other six in the new Avengers Tower and unfortunately he couldn't change that easily either. "Bucky, I'd love to help you, but ...," he said a little contrite and immediately felt bad because he wanted to be there for his best friend.

"No, that's not the point," Bucky told him immediately, noticing how guilty Steve began to feel. "Steve lowered his fork and leaned his elbows against the tabletop. His friend's needs were now really more important than his food.

Barnes breathed deeply several times and stroked his way through the longer, dark hair: "I finally want to remember, Steve." Both stared at each other for a moment and silence spreads between them. "I want to know who I was', he continued, 'and I need your help for that. Please, Steve, please!

Steve's heart stopped for a moment and he just stared at the man in front of him for a moment. He also wanted Bucky to remember the old times and their shared experiences. But wouldn't Bucky's bad memories also return then?

"Is it really that important to you?" Steve sounded careful. He didn't want his friend to make a hasty decision and had no idea how to help his best friend. Bucky lowered his head and put the fork down as well: "Yes, Steve, I really do." "Even if all the bad comes back then," the blonde threw in to make it clear to his friend what that could mean.

But Bucky didn't wait a second to say anything back: "The bad is as much a part of my past as the good. It makes me the person I am." Rogers took some deep breaths and then fixed him with a penetrating look: "Well, if that's so important to you, I'll do anything to help you."

Barnes' eyes lit up with these words and he reached for Steve's hand: "Thank you, you are a really good friend. "But I really can't promise that it will work," Steve immediately interjected, trying to make him understand that his efforts might not be crowned with success.

"I know", Bucky nodded reassuringly as he was aware of it himself: "But at least you can try." A reassuring smile appeared on Steve's smile and he immediately began to think about how he could help his friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Still a little sleepy, Natasha stepped out of her room. She had returned late from her last mission yesterday and had slept accordingly for a long time. However, loud voices reaching her ears had disturbed her sleep and made her leave the bed.

With a slightly irritated look she arrived a few meters later in the living room and saw her teammates, who had gathered in the room and were loudly discussing. A little beaten to death by all the morning bustle, she cleared her throat loudly after a few seconds as none of the others seemed to have noticed her.

Immediately the five men fell silent and turned their heads towards her. "Tomorrow," she muttered, moving under her gaze toward the sofa where Clint, Bruce and Thor were already sitting. Tony and Steve were the only ones standing. As soon as she had dropped on it, both men immediately began to discuss again and their words sounded suspiciously like a quarrel.

"Tomorrow," Clint greeted her quietly and gave her a little more room to sit properly beside him. "What's going on?" she whispered to him and watched the scene. "The two argue. Again," he whispered and put an arm around them so that he could pull them. She was wearing one of the T-shirts she had poached from his wardrobe and he couldn't help grinning at the sight because it was too big for her. But even so sleepy, she still looked beautiful.

She rolled her eyes: "And of course that can't be done in any other place than the living room! "You know the answer," he just said, but he made her understand that the answer was 'no'. They both knew Tony and Steve's fights, which the men dismissed as simple discussions, more than well and were correspondingly annoyed by them. Although sometimes they made fun of it and made bets about who would win in the end because the other either gave up or stormed out of the room furiously.

"This time Steve called us all in," he explained his girlfriend, trying to concentrate on the two squabblers, but Natasha attracted all his attention. "She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked a little hurt. That maybe all Avengers apart from her had been called to this meeting was not a pleasant thought.

When he noticed the bitterness in her voice, he reached for her hand: "Steve wanted to wake you, too, but then Tony started discussing with him. So I decided to let you sleep until we got to the topic he wanted to talk to us about. Then of course I would have woken you up immediately, but you came home so late yesterday that I thought..."

But he didn't get any further because she gently put a finger on his lips: "All right, Clint." Somehow it was really sweet how he had worried about her and thought about her. A soft smile appeared on her lips: "Thank you for letting me sleep." Now he also smiled calmly and turned his gaze back to the spectacle in front of him, which he hadn't even been interested in before.

"I really don't want to interfere now," Bruce suddenly began a little hesitantly: "But will you slowly tell us what it's all about? If not, I'd like to go back to the lab." But his words either went down or were ignored by Steve and Rogers. Compassionately, the redhead looked over to the scientist. Although he had never really had intensive contact with Thor or Banner and had rather stuck to Clint instead, both men had made a sympathetic and, for a change, reasonable impression right from the start. Especially as the rest of the team lacked the latter.

So she clapped her hands once to finally get Steve's and Tony's attention: "Boys! And actually it works. Both of them turned their heads towards her and looked at her a little surprised. "Romanoff? When did you go over there?", with his hands Stark pointed a little confused from the door frame, where she had stood before, to the sofa. She only answered with a slightly annoyed rolling of her eyes: "Can we please get to the actual subject? You can still discuss it around later! Her lack of sleep was clearly audible in these words. She also wanted to know why Steve had summoned them all.

 

Steve nodded and looked into the group: "All right, let's get started. It's about a decision I can't make alone. I need your consent because it will affect us all." Interested she looked at the blonde. He really knew how to make it exciting and how to talk good around the bush.

"Get to the point, Rogers," Clint said next to her, looking at Rogers with a challenge. She elbowed him in the side, but knew he was actually saying exactly what they were all paying attention to.

"N-Na good", suddenly Steve sounded a little insecure and hesitantly looked around. Apparently he wanted to talk to them about something that was very important to him personally. "It's about my best friend Bucky." "Oh God", it came from Tony when he heard the name: "No matter what it is exactly. I am against it". Steve sighed and Natasha thought she could see his heart slipping into his pants. Immediately she felt sorry for the man with whom she got along quite well.

The name didn't bring back any really good memories for her either. After all, at her first meeting in the 21st century, he had shot another person through her. And then there was her past in the Red Room, which she shared with him to a great extent. But she knew that he couldn't remember her or her. Because one had subjected him again and again to brutal brainwashing and thus robbed him of all his memories.

At that thought she felt a firm sting in her heart and tried to push those thoughts aside as best she could. To distract herself a little, she smiled encouragingly at Steve. After all, he hadn't had a chance to explain exactly what it was all about. So far only one name had been mentioned.

"He wants to remember his past and so he asked me for help," Rogers continued on her encouragement. "And what does that have to do with us," Bruce asked the first really factual question. "I agreed to help him," he began to answer the question: "And I think it's a good idea for him to move in with us."

"What?" Tony shouted immediately and began to shake his head: "Only over my dead body." Automatically, the young woman also cramped up. Steve didn't really want the Winter Soldier to live with them, did he? Clint immediately noticed her reaction to these words and stroked her back in a soothing way. He leaned over to her to quietly ask, "Is everything all right? Natasha swallowed and wanted to nod, but her body wouldn't let her, so she just shrugged her shoulders. Clint was the only Avenger who knew her whole past and knew that she had known Bucky before she came to S.H.I.E.L.D..

"Is that for sure?" Clint asked out loud and looked at Steve seriously: "After all, he wasn't necessarily peaceful with us in the past. He even attacked you in the beginning. How do we know that this can't just happen again anytime?" Bruce and Thor nodded approvingly, as this was a legitimate question. Both had hardly anything to do with the Winter Soldier itself, but had heard enough about him from the others. Especially from Tony, who hadn't thrown a good light on the other man.

Steve swallowed hard: "At that time he was under the control of HYDRA and had no memories of me or anything else from his past. But he really changed. Especially since he knows who I am again. I have the feeling that people and experiences from his past do him good and give him security. That's why I want him to live here. So I can guarantee that he remains safe. So he can finally find his own place in this century. At that time I had S.H.I.E.L.D. and you who helped me to find my right in this time, but he has only me. Or do you not trust me?"

She knew what he said was true. At that time he had had the subject and thus an occupation that he could pursue. And besides, he could remember everything. As it was well for Bucky, they all probably could not even begin to imagine. Besides, it really seemed like Bucky would be calmer if he was with Steve, whom he knew well, and would never give the appearance of being dangerous in any way in his presence. So it would be the right decision, but something inside her resisted it anyway. There were just those many memories of the new Bucky attacking and hurting her that couldn't be made up for by the few good experiences she had had with him since he was back.

"Leave the trust out of it, Rogers," Tony defended himself: "That's a really bad number. " However, the group more or less deliberately overheard him.

"How about we just vote on it? Then everyone can contribute his opinion and if the majority is in favour, we can try it out," the banner with the glasses suggested and reaped an annoyed sigh from Stark. "Yes, that sounds reasonable," Thor, who had been consistently silent before, spoke up and looked over at Clint and Natasha. "All right," Clint replied, while Natasha nodded a little hesitantly.

"Well, who is in favour of Bucky moving in here," Steve immediately began the vote. Apparently, he could hardly wait for the result. Hesitantly, the redhead looked into the lap and waited to see who came forward. Steve's hand shot up immediately, while Bruce and Thor hesitated, but their hands also lifted.

From the corner of her eye she saw Tony rolling his eyes and starting to walk up and down in the background. "And who's against," he grumbled and looked hopefully over to Barton and Romanoff.

She could feel Clint's gaze firmly on her and knew that he had noticed her doubts and was now unsure of what she wanted. "Nat," he asked quietly and she bit her lower lip. The redhead didn't want to influence her best friend, but let him make his own decision, so she just shrugged her shoulders. He then tilted his head a little and looked before raising his hand.

Tony's voice resounded immediately as he raised his hand: "Thank you, Barton. You seem to be the only one who can still think clearly here." She swallowed when she realized that it was now three to two, so the final decision now depended on her. If she agreed, he would move in here and she spoke out against it, it was balanced again and there was no decision at all.

"Tasha," Steve asked gently, making her raise her head to look at him. He looked at her pleadingly and immediately she felt guilty. It was really important to her boyfriend and she probably wouldn't act differently if Clint was in Bucky's place.

However, she did not know how she would not react to a reunion with him or how she would cope with living with him here. Finally, she could remember her common past quite well - even though she usually successfully suppressed those memories - when he didn't even remember her name. This thought felt like a kick in the pit of the stomach. But how should you feel when suddenly the man you once loved was back, but he couldn't remember her love or herself?

"Romanoff", Tony spoke to her now and looked at her with a serious look: "Don't fuck around, sweetheart". She had to stifle an annoyed rolling of her eyes, but couldn't help but give him an evil look. So he didn't really see to it that she spoke for him.

"I abstain," she said with a firm voice and looked at both Steve and Tony with a meaningful look to convey to them that she would not discuss it with any of them: "I really don't want to be drawn into your rivalry. So, make that between you!"

The men opened their mouths, but she gave both of them a unnerved look. "I can live with that," Steve said anyway and gave Natasha a thankful smile. So it was three to two with one abstention and that was the ticket for Bucky's move in.

But Natasha didn't go for it, she just swallowed hard. When Clint pulled her into his arms again, she closed it and put her head on his shoulders. At that moment she was already thinking about Bucky's move in and was looking for an excuse to spend as little time as possible with him. But did she really want that at all or did the man still interest her a little?

 


	3. Chapter 3

The day dragged on for Natasha like a fresh chewing gum, but luckily it came to an end at some point. Steve had avoided Tony noticeably all day long, as he seemed to have made it his business to look at him with evil eyes. Natasha herself had expected just as little enthusiasm from Stark towards her - after all, she was also to blame for the decision to a certain extent. His dislike, however, was limited, and although he didn't really talk to her that day, he didn't avoid her and saved her the angry looks.

In the meantime, however, it had become dark outside and Natasha sat on the windowsill of the window in her room. Completely lost in thought, she stared down at the skyline of the city. She still didn't know what to think about Barnes moving in here tomorrow with bag and baggage - at least that's what Steve had announced. It was already clear to her, however, that things would certainly change here.

When suddenly her room door opened, she was a little startled and turned her head in that direction. There, leaning against the door frame, Clint stood and looked at her with a worried look. She looked at him and noticed that he had already prepared himself for the night. He was wearing a light grey shirt, loose cloth pants and his blond brown hair was a little tousled.

"Hey," she mumbled and gave him a matte smile. "Hey," he replied, "Can I come in?" Natasha only answered with a nod. Clint was exactly what she needed to distract herself a little. At least he always managed that.

She watched him step into the room and close the door behind him before he walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her. He put his head on her shoulder and looked outside as well: "What are you looking at there?

"Nothing in particular," she admitted and leaned gently against him: "I was just thinking a little." He also pressed lightly against her to give her a better hold. "About Barnes," he breathed gently and laid his hands on her waist. She felt his breath on her neck and sighed. He knew her so well that it made no sense to deny it.

"Hmm," she mumbled and looked over her shoulder to him. His look was worried and she could see in his eyes that he didn't like to see her like that. "You can't sit here all night," he took her hand and asked her to look up: "Come to bed and tomorrow we'll see how it goes."

Natasha thought for a moment, but then gave in. After all, he was right about that. So she climbed down from the windowsill and let Clint pull her gently to the bed. He went to bed and knocked the blanket to the side. Then he looked at her with a challenge.

She immediately followed him and dropped onto the free side of her bed. Then she covered them both up and snuggled gently against him. He reached for her hand in such a way that he gently put her arm over his chest while she buried her head in his neck bend.

It had always reassured her to sleep next to her best friend as he managed to keep her nightmares away with his closeness and warmth. He gently stroked her free hand through the red curls and looked down at her.

"Maybe you should talk to Steve," he suggested after a few seconds of silence and enjoying each other's company. She hesitantly looked up at him: "Do you really think this is a good idea?

"Yes", his voice sounded honest and the expression in his eyes was loving: "Otherwise he will surely ask you for help with Barnes and I know you. You have a hard time saying 'no' to your friends." "But I can't tell him where I know Bucky from," she muttered: "You're the only Avenger who knows that and somehow I want it to stay that way."

He knew very well that she would love to suppress her past from her memories, and what an effort it must have cost her to talk to him about it. However, this had also made for more openness between them and strengthened their trust in each other. But he was also aware that she wouldn't do it if she didn't really want to and that it wasn't right to push her into something.

"Just think about it, okay?," he said, pulling her a little bit closer: "I know you'll make the right decision for you." "Yes, I know," she breathed and watched him. "And I am always with you, no matter what you decide," he continued, but they both knew that it was not necessary at all. Both knew that they would always be there for each other.

Then he closed his eyes and lovingly began to drive a finger over her back in regular lanes. She didn't answer, but simply closed her eyes and listened to his breathing. But then, after some time, both of them were overwhelmed by sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4

When Natasha woke up the next morning, she didn't even have to open her eyes to know that Clint wasn't next to her anymore. She simply lacked his warmth. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked several times as the bright sunlight blinded her and fumbled for Clint with one hand, although she was relatively sure that he was no longer in the room.

As soon as she got used to the light, she pushed the blanket to the side and rose from the bed. Had Clint been here, she would have stayed a little longer, but she simply had no reason to be.

She took a quick look at the clock before she left the room. It was already ten and Natasha was unsure what she would find if she went into the kitchen now. Maybe a freshly moved in Bucky Barnes?

When she hesitantly set foot in the kitchen, she immediately realized that it didn't seem to be the case. Immediately she noticed that her heart began to beat faster at the thought of meeting him again. How much would he remember?

Images of her Red Room past suddenly appeared in her mind's eye. But not the ones about how she had been made a murderer and almost robbed of her humanity. Instead, moments of Bucky and her that she had kept forever in her heart passed her by.

Lost in thought, she stepped into the kitchen and almost automatically walked up to the coffee machine to make herself an extra strong coffee. Otherwise a morning with her would not be very pleasant.

While the machine was making noise behind her, she turned around to the table where the other Avengers were already sitting. "Good morning, Romanoff," Stark grumbled and looked at her over the edge of his cup. "Good morning?," she replied with eyebrows raised, not sure why he was so friendly. After all, he had every reason to be mad at her. A little insecure, she looked at Clint, who was also sitting at the table and was about to eat a strip of ham. He noticed her gaze, but just shrugged his shoulders, meaning he had no idea what was going on with Tony himself.

Suddenly the coffee machine beeped and Natasha received her hot drink. Then she also dropped down to the table and placed her cup between her elbows leaning on the tabletop. Her gaze wandered over the faces of those present, feeling that someone was missing. However, her caffeine level was still too low to tell at first glance who was missing. When she had gone through them all, however, she asked with slightly narrowed eyes: "Where is Steve?

"He went to get Bucky," Bruce explained, pushing his glasses up a bit. Natasha sighed and tried not to let anything show. But she could feel Clint's gaze on her and was sure that he looked at her worriedly. Still, she tried not to look at him and ignore his gaze as best she could.

"Oh, okay," she said and stole a strip of bacon from Clint's plate. "Where is he going to live," she asked, trying to sound neutral. "I gave him the empty room next to Steve," Tony said and Natasha looked at him a little surprised. Had the two men clarified that without arguing? Or had it ended again in a huge noise at the end of which Tony had admitted the room to him?

~~~

Bucky looked rigidly at the doors of the elevator that had just closed behind Steve and him. Nervously, he drummed around on his thigh with the fingers of his metal arm. Through the glass cabin he could look down on the city and was really glad that he didn't suffer from fear of heights.

"Hey, Buck," Steve attracted the attention of his best friend. Apparently he had noticed his nervousness: "Are you scared? Bucky immediately pressed his jaws against each other. However, he shook his head honestly: "No, I'm just a little excited." And that was actually true.

Normally he wouldn't necessarily admit that, but he had to be honest with Steve. He just couldn't help it. Besides, it felt good to trust himself to his friend. Even when he couldn't remember half of their time together. But exactly for this reason he was alone in the Avengers Tower. He wanted to regain his memories and a part of himself. Because without his memories, whether good or bad, he had the feeling to be incomplete.

"Don't worry, the others will accept you," his voice had accepted a warm pull, but Bucky couldn't imagine that this would ever really be the case.

Even when Steve came up with the suggestion that he could move in with the Avengers, he had been skeptical. But when he told him that the majority had decided that he could move in, he was speechless. Never would he have expected that only another Avenger than Steve would stand up for him like that. Not after what he had already done to some of them.

Suddenly the elevator stopped and the doors slid open with a soft 'ping'. Both men, torn from their thoughts by this abrupt hold, lifted their heads and got out together.

For Bucky, it was the first time he had set foot in the Tower, and the uncertainty of what to expect here weighed heavily on his shoulders. However, he expected, though not a hate wave, rejection. Especially from Tony Stark's side. For although the majority had voted for him, he was certain that it could not have been just one person who had been against it.

Steve immediately set himself in motion and meant his best friend with a short hand movement in a certain direction that he should follow him. Understanding, Bucky ran after the blond man. In his hands he had two large suitcases, which fortunately caused him few problems. What else was he a super soldier for?

Rogers pushed open a half-open door with his foot and then staggered into the room in front of him. He was followed by Barnes, who took an interested look into the room. Like most of the Avengers' other bedrooms, he had a large window to the right of the bed through which a lot of sunlight entered. Through the white painted walls this generally provided a bright, cheerful atmosphere that Bucky somehow liked. It was so very different from the cramped apartment he had been living in for the last few weeks. Of course he would never get the idea to complain about it.

"Steve placed the suitcases he had transported in a corner and then stepped aside a bit so that Bucky could move the rest to the same place. "It's really great," the dark-haired man replied, honestly fascinated, and let his gaze flit briefly over the skyline of the bustling megacity.

"That makes me happy", you could hear Steve, how happy he was to have his friend around all the time and Bucky was no different. He even enjoyed having someone who cared as much about his well-being as Steve Rogers. "By the way, my room is right next door," he explained: "So if you ever need help or are looking for me in general..." "Then I know where I can find you," grinned Bucky broadly and pulled the other man into a short hug. And in fact this was, perhaps for the first time in a long time, a real grin that he didn't think about, it just happened.

"Now you're probably hungry, aren't you?" Steve immediately walked up to the door again and didn't seem to want to give him a short breather: "Bruce made his gifted scrambled eggs with bacon this morning. Maybe we'll get some more." When he addressed the subject, Bucky actually felt a sense of hunger. That's why he nodded approvingly: "That sounds like a plan."

Shortly he let a last glance wander through the room before he left it and from Steve through a large living room into the kitchen. As they stepped through the door, he noticed some of those present raising their heads or freezing. He hated the influence he had on the people who knew who he was.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Steve looking at his teammates with a warning look and then speaking: "Guys, this is Bucky, my best friend."

Surprisingly, a man with dark curls and a purple shirt gave him a friendly smile: "Nice to meet you, Bucky. The others have already told us a lot about you." When he heard that, his heart slipped into his pants. What had the others told about him?

"I'm Bruce and that's Thor," he continued and nodded in the direction of another man with long blond hair when he introduced him. Thor just shoved a fork of scrambled eggs into his mouth and smiled briefly at the man with the metal arm before turning back to his plate. "It's nice to meet you, Bruce," Bucky replied immediately, friendly as he wanted at least one to make it, and then continued to look at the faces of the others present.

Steve smiled gratefully at Bruce and then began to introduce Bucky to the others at the table in turn: "And these are Clint, Tony and ...". But he didn't get any further, because Bucky interrupted him: "Natasha?"

When he pronounced her name, the red-haired woman, who had stared consistently at the tabletop before, looked up at him. Her eyes noticed an insecure flickering. "Yes, how do you know?" Steve seemed surprised by his sudden knowledge of who she was. But he could only answer with a shrug of his shoulder: "She was with you when we met."

His words might have been true, but there was something else she evoked in him. It almost felt as if an old memory was trying to push itself back into his head, but being stopped by some blockade. But as he watched, his heart began to beat faster. He had to be something. However, he could not tell what it was and why he reacted so to their sight.


	5. Chapter 5

"Clint, would you come into the training room with me?" Natasha leaned against the door frame and looked into the living room. There Clint was sitting at his laptop and his concentrated facial expression told her that he was searching the S.H.I.E.L.D. database. Did he have a new mission? Or was he just trying to pass the time?

When she approached him, he raised his head, thought for a moment and shook his head: "No, I'm sorry, Nat. Fury ordered me to file. But if you wait a few more hours, we can go training later." She sighed and shook her head, although she wasn't sure if it was just an excuse: "All right, then I'll go alone".

"You could also go training with me, Romanoff," Tony suddenly spoke. Surprised, she stared at the dark-haired man, who she hadn't even noticed. She really hadn't expected that. After all, it seemed so far as if he couldn't stand her and she had been sure that her contribution to the vote hadn't necessarily improved his attitude towards her. "Are you sure, Stark?" her raised eyebrows told him that she doubted that this was really the right decision for Tony.

"Don't worry, I didn't think they'd have to take me like Barton," he grinned as he noticed her pleasant look. Fortunately, the man couldn't see Clint piercing him with a gloomy look. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that sound ambiguous? But that wasn't clear to me now", with one finger he tapped against his lip and pretended as if it had really been an accident.

She didn't even answer and just rolled her eyes before turning around to leave the room. But apparently Tony had meant it seriously because he immediately rose and followed her.

"Strong, what do you want?" she grumbled and tied her red hair to a ponytail. "Well train", he stretched out his hand to her and stopped her walking by holding her to the Amr: "With you! "Well, but not with you", with these words she freed herself from his loose grip: "At least not if they don't stop making such remarks about Clint and me. They know we're just friends." Tony sighed and gave a sigh, although it was obvious to him that he doubted this friendship: "Well, I'll try to let it go. But I can't promise anything. I find it much too funny to annoy you for that, Romanoff."

Again she rolled her eyes, but couldn't quite hide a slight grin. She liked it better when he was honest than when he made her false promises, which he didn't keep in the end anyway. "Okay, come on," she walked up to the elevator that was supposed to take her to the floor where the training room was. Stark followed hers with a happy smile that she didn't need to see to know it was there.

The short ride was overshadowed until the doors opened again. Stark got out in front of her and held the door open for her like a gentleman. A little surprised by this action, unusual for him, she hesitated for a moment, but then went through. He grinned at her confidently and then followed her: "Well, Romanoff, show me some of her tricks."

"All right," she climbed into the ring and waited for him to do the same to her. She literally scanned him and tried to analyze his movements to see a pattern. She always did this almost automatically and so she did here, even though Stark was not an enemy. He went into attack position while she lifted her hands and waited for him to attack her. In this fight she counted on his ego and thus on the fact that he would not necessarily adopt the defensive position.

And in fact she had not misjudged him. He let his gaze wander over her. Then he jumped towards her and tried to grab her arms. But this rather weak attack avoided her with ease and grabbed his wrists instead. She embraced them comparatively gently, but tactically cleverly, so that she could turn them on his back.

"Ah, Romanoff" he grumbled and looked at her quite surprised: "Ouch." Apparently, he hadn't expected her to block his attack. This made her sometimes a little angry, because she hated it when her colleagues underestimated her, but on the other hand it also gave her a certain sense of triumph. She let him stay in this position for a few more seconds, but then detached himself from him so that he could stand up again.

"You can really get down to it, Romanoff," he grinned, but Natasha knew that he really meant business and that this was very close to a compliment. Anyway, if you were dealing with a man like Tony Stark: "Now I can understand why Barton didn't want to train with you today". "Clint always likes to train with me," she sulked slightly and looked at him a little darkly, but wasn't really angry about it.

He just winked at her charmingly and then waved his hand at her. So he asked her to attack him now. She responded immediately and soon entangled him in a fistfight, in which both of them came along equally well. "Say once, Romanoff', he gasped, while he continued to defend himself well against them. She really had to admit that he was better at protecting himself from her than when it was the other way around. "What was it this morning with Barnes and you?" he ended his question and she had to pull herself together so as not to sigh out loud. Actually, she had hoped that nobody would address her and especially not Stark.

That's why she made an innocent facial expression in which she was already used to: "I don't know what you mean, Stark." The man looked at her with a contemptuous look: "Seriously? The others may buy that from you, but I don't. But I'm happy to bring your memory back up to date."

She tilted her head slightly and crossed her arms in front of her chest, waiting for his assessment of the previous situation. "This morning we were all sitting at the kitchen table together, while Steve had gone to get Barnes," when he pronounced the newcomer's name, he distorted his face, almost feeling a little disgusted.

Although she knew he had never seemed to be really well disposed towards Bucky, she had never asked him why. But she was sure there had to be some reason. Stark mistrusted no one simply without reason. She had finally felt this on her own body after her camouflage at Stark Industries had been blown. At that time she was there as S.H.I.E.L.D. - Shadow to look after Tony. After that she had to work hard to regain his trust and still hadn't managed to regain it completely.

"Anyway, Rogers then came into the kitchen with Barnes and started introducing the team," he almost explained to her as if she hadn't been there: "But when he wanted to introduce you, he knew who you were by himself. Stark's gaze was inquiring as he waited for a reaction from her: "And that's when I wondered where."

She grudgingly looked at him for a moment, but then replied, "I was on a mission with Steve when we first saw Barnes. But I didn't think he'd remember it either." That's all she wanted and would tell him. It was simply none of his business.

"Then you somehow managed to keep him in mind", for a moment his words made her careless, so that he could carry her with a light kick against her arms, which she had lifted for protection, against the elastic ropes of the ring: "Or is there perhaps more, hm?".

He'd like to know! But she wouldn't tell him anything about her past. What was between Bucky and her back then was nobody's business except Clint and Fury.

Annoyed, she stood up again and slipped out of the ring. She could have imagined that he only wanted to train with her to get new information. "Natasha, wait," he shouted after her as she walked towards the door. "Why should I?" she asked grumpyly and didn't bother to look back or stop before shouting in sarcastic tone: "If you want to know anything about me, just hack my S.H.I.E.L.D. file. You seem to have a lot of fun with that." With that she alluded to the fact that he had tried exactly that before, but luckily had failed.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Steve looked expectantly into the group: "So, what are we doing tonight?" Natasha raised her head and looked at Steve questioningly. Where did that come from now? Although they often spent the evenings together, most of the time someone arrived in the afternoon with such an idea and only when they hadn't really planned something else. But now it was already evening, which is why the whole thing came really spontaneously. That's why this question surprised them a little. And she didn't seem to be the only one who was surprised. But maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Because an evening together would probably help to get rid of the negative mood that prevailed between the Avengers.

"I don't know, but I didn't even know they had planned to spend any time together tonight," Tony mumbled into his Bourbone. Shortly Natasha watched him a little worried. That he drank at this time was not a good sign.

Normally he only showed such behaviour at night when he couldn't sleep and sneaked restlessly through the tower. She had already observed him often enough, when she had been plagued by insomnia again. Of course Tony had no idea about it. But that was no wonder, if you knew how well she could stay undiscovered. But for a spy that was also appropriate.

So that it didn't turn into a ridiculous argument again, she quickly intervened: "I also think it's a good idea if we spend tonight together, Steve." Immediately she could feel Clint's gaze on her and knew without even looking that he was looking at her inquiringly. But she didn't go into that and preferred to keep turning to Steve: "How about a movie night, for example? We haven't done that in a while." "Yes, I think that's good, too," Bruce agreed, who just closed his laptop and put it away. "When we order something to eat, I'm there, too," Clint intervened and Natasha immediately realized that it wasn't just his obvious hunger that was the reason. He also had the goal to support her a little bit with her suggestion. "Oh, yes we could eat shawarma," Thor loudly suggested.

"If we do that, we'll definitely get something else," Tony protested, but Natasha noticed that he also wanted to join the group for a movie night. But we couldn't blame him for that, although he tried not to let it show. "Why," Thor asked in surprise. "Because we already ate shavarma on Wednesday and I certainly don't eat the same thing every other day," Tony explained to him soberly.

"Well, what do you suggest then, metal man," Thor folded his arms in front of his chest and looked at the superhero expectantly and provocatively at once. "What do you think of Chinese food," Tony asked the question.

Slowly Natasha's stomach began to growl loudly, making the men speed up their decision-making process a little. "I think it's good," Rogers intervened again: "What about you, Buck?" He turned to his friend and looked at him questioningly.

At the first part of his sentence Natasha had nodded, but when the nickname fell, she instantly froze. She hadn't even noticed that Barnes had come in. Apparently he was still as good at sneaking up on her as he used to be.

"Sounds like a plan," Bucky agreed to the blonde super soldier with a nod. The others also informed Tony in turn of their agreement and even Thor seemed to agree.

So they finally decided to go to a Chinese restaurant and called there to order. However, the snack bar had no delivery service, so they would have to pick up their food themselves. Fortunately, the restaurant was around the corner, so that wasn't really a big problem. Only on the question which two Avengers had to go now had to be clarified.

"I guess I'll go of my own free will," Natasha said briefly, as she absolutely wanted to leave here. Or rather said she just wanted to escape Bucky. She could feel his interested look for some minutes now. She bit her lip and consistently tried not to look over to the man with the metal arm. But his staring made her crazy inside. Eventually he couldn't remember anything from his past and didn't really know who she was anymore. So why did he seem so interested in her?

"Very good, Romanoff," Stark commented and it was noticeable to him that he was happy not to have to take on this task himself. "Then I'll come with you," Clint said, which she didn't necessarily dislike. He was always a good company and he always managed to distract them.

"Otherwise I would also like to come," Steve said almost at the same moment. His piercing gaze was fixed on Natasha and everyone in the room knew that he absolutely wanted to join in.

"You'll have to leave your lover to Steve today, Falcon," Tony joked with an amused grin. Her eyes immediately darkened and Clint's eyes narrowed to slits. "Beloved?" Steve asked confusedly. "How many times should we say it? We're not ...", Clint set out to talk, but Natasha just waved: "Leave it alone, Clint. There's no point in that. He never learns anyway." Then she got up and looked back and forth between Clint and Steve: "So, please agree who's coming with us now".

Clint sighed, but then Steve nodded: "You go ahead. Then at least I can make sure that a good film is chosen. I don't want to end up watching Titanic or shit like that." "Thank you, Clint", Steve sounded cheerful and his big smile told Natasha that Clint's words amused him. In fact, she was quite surprised that this decision had suddenly come about too quickly - especially Clint didn't look very similar - but she thought it was a good change. But she shouldn't get used to it. "Then go," Steve immediately seemed completely ready to go.

Bucky, who had also sat down on the sofa in the meantime, made an unsatisfied impression: "Can't you stay here, Steve? "I'll be right back," the interviewee said, but only: "It won't take long. I promise! However, this didn't seem to calm Bucky much. Apparently he didn't like the thought of having to be alone with the other men. But somehow you could understand that, because he didn't get along very well with Clint and Tony. But Steve didn't seem to be dissuaded from his plan with Natasha.

"Come on," Steve said to his best friend and nodded towards the elevator. The sooner we leave, the sooner we'll be back and the sooner we can eat." Natasha nodded approvingly and somehow Steve's exuberant manner made her forget Bucky's looks for a moment.

They said goodbye to the others and then walked towards the elevator. They didn't take a jacket because it was still quite warm outside. When the doors opened, they got in together. She took a last look into the living room and hoped that the men would not bang each other's heads in their absence.

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Steve's voice was filled with joy and a childlike smile appeared on his lips: "You know, I really think I can help him." She almost said that he was going into raptures as he spoke with hope. But her heart became heavy. Steve was really shining since Bucky was with them. And so her concern was all the greater. Because it would no doubt break his heart if Bucky didn't get his memories back. Steve would most likely break that.

"Besides, it feels good to have him every day to have me," he continued as they shifted between people: "Because of the work, I hardly had time for him, so I'm really happy now. After all, he is my best friend and he is the person I have known the longest". She swallowed and then grabbed him by the arm, as he was just about to run out onto the street. "Steve, be careful," she said shocked and pulled him back onto the sidewalk.

"Oh Shit, Nat. Thanks," he cursed and took a few more steps backwards: "What would I do without you?" "There was nothing sarcastic or amused in her voice, but rather completely serious: "And now eyes on the road. I would hate to have to spend this evening in the emergency room again."

About fifteen minutes later they left the restaurant where they had ordered, fully loaded again. "We are friends, aren't we," Steve asked as they made their way back to the tower. On this question she raised her head and looked at him with an inquiring glance: "Yes? She took the word extra long because she wasn't sure why he asked that. So far, this question had never meant anything good, but rather a trap. But Steve wasn't really like that. So she was quite surprised by this question.

"And you would help me if I needed you, wouldn't you?" he continued his questioning, whereupon her eyebrows rose. "Steve, what do you want from me', she sounded suspicious. "You are, of all of us, the best fighter without weapons," he began to continue and she knew he was partly right, but let him continue: "That's why I wanted to ask you to help me train with Bucky."

She swallowed his words hard. He didn't know that she and James knew each other, so she couldn't blame him for that question. Still, she didn't feel comfortable with the thought. But Steve couldn't tell her. That was just not possible. She didn't want to be the girl she had been when she had been in the Red Room. She had done so many unforgivable things and she was afraid of what would happen if the other Avengers, who were not only her colleagues but also her friends and family, heard about it.

"Nat", Steve pushed the lip slightly forward: "Please." She lowered her eyes because she didn't want to become soft and give in. "Please, I can't do this alone," he added when she didn't answer. "Steve," she set in a melancholic tone, but didn't know what to say. And he also seemed to notice that: "Try it only once. If you don't want to do it afterwards, I won't bother you with it either. Agreed?"

He stretched out his hand to her and she sighed softly. There was no point in avoiding him any longer, or at least trying to avoid him anyway. "Promise?" she went after. "Yes, promised," he said immediately and looked at her honestly. "All right, I'll try it once," she gave in and reached for his hand to smash in. "Thank you, Nat," a joyful smile again adorned his lips: "You won't regret it." She crunched slightly with her pines. There she was not so sure herself.

After five minutes they stood in the Stark Tower again and found a group of hungry Avengers. Bruce had grabbed a science paper and seemed tied up in the content, while Thor had got himself a bottle of beer to sip on as a pastime. Clint had taken a whole sofa for himself in which he simply lay down for a long time and refused to move away. Only for Tony there was some room at one end. But he obviously didn't have an eye for that, because he was too busy not to let James out of his sight. He had let himself fall into an armchair and remained silent. Clint and Thor talked to each other in contrast to him and Tony also changed a word with them every now and then, but otherwise seemed rather absent.

When Clint noticed the two newcomers, he immediately sat up: "There you are at last again." She had to grin at his words. "Please don't ever leave me alone with them again, Nat", his gaze was snivelling and he stretched out his arms to her. She had to laugh and put the food she was wearing on the table before she took off her jacket, threw it somewhere over a chair and then came to Clint. Steve also put his things down and joined the others.

Clint took his legs off the sofa so she could sit down. Almost as if he had saved her a seat. She let herself fall on the vacated spot and Baron immediately pulled her in. "Very seriously. It was bad here without you," he muttered and just so loud that only she could hear him. "It sounds good to me that you can't get along without me," she laughed and looked over at him. "Haha", he rolled his eyes, but grinned.

But then she released again and grabbed her meal and some chopsticks to eat her noodles. He sighed, but then took his own food from the table. "Have you actually already decided on a film," Natasha asked, as they all slowly began to eat. "Yes, James Bond: Casino Royale," Clint replied to her and put an arm around her hips to bring her back.

"A movie about a poker-playing spy? Your serious?", she looked into the round rolling her eyes. "You just have to say, Romanoff," Tony laughed next to her: "I can perfectly imagine Barton and you in exactly the same situation. Ironic, isn't it?" "Shut up, Stark," Barton grumbled immediately, annoyed and Natasha grinned amused.

After a few minutes it came from Thor, who seemed to be slowly becoming innocent. "Yes, I'll turn it on," Steve spoke up and Natasha saw him reach for the remote.

"Come here," Clint whispered to Natasha and put away the empty packaging of his food. She grinned as he pulled her back into his arms and let herself sink slightly against his chest before she crossed her fingers with his. "Get a room!," Stark commented again, but the two just tried to ignore it. A "Shut up, Stark" was the only thing Natasha answered.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Suddenly she opened her eyes and startled high. The blanket slipped from her upper body and a few red strands were hanging in her face. Natasha's breath went fast and flat. For a moment she just stared into the blackness until her eyes slowly got used to the darkness. When she felt an arm pressing on her hips, she felt her heart start to return to normal.

She took several deep breaths and then slowly let herself sink back into the pillows. Then she turned her head to the person next to her lying there on the pillow to her right. Having Clint lying next to her had always been surprisingly soothing. His arm lying on top of her was heavy, but gave her the feeling that he was protecting her in her sleep.

A light smile appeared on her lips and she stroked a finger over his arm until she reached his hand. There she crossed her fingers gently with his and closed her eyes again, hoping to fall asleep again. This hope disappeared after a few minutes. Suddenly she was wide awake and felt the need to stretch her legs.

So she opened her eyes sighing and looked back at Clint. He slept soundly and soundly and seemed so peaceful and innocent that she didn't want to wake him up. So she slowly let go of his hand and carefully pushed his arm to the side so she could put the blanket aside and slip out of bed.

When her toes touched the cool wooden floor, she turned her head around again to see if it hadn't woken him up by mistake. But her best friend kept dozing relaxed, which made her breathe a sigh of relief. Lucky! Then she stood up and sneaked through the darkness to the door on tiptoe. Almost in slow motion, she pushed down the door handle, hoping it wouldn't creak, and left the room almost noiseless. More often than was probably good for her, she sneaked out at night, when she had once again been startled from her sleep. Fortunately, however, her nightmares became much rarer when someone lay next to her. Especially someone as familiar as Clint.

The hallway was dark, which told her she was the only one who seemed awake at this time. Relieved, she breathed a sigh of relief and almost felt as if a stone was falling from her heart. Quickly she scampered into the kitchen and instinctively went to the spot where the light switch was. From the many times that she had been here in the dark, she already knew where it was. It took barely a few seconds until the room was flooded with light. Immediately she had to blink as her eyes were not prepared for the sudden flare, but after a few seconds she could see her surroundings properly. Here, too, she was alone for her relief.

She set herself in motion and walked straight towards one of the cupboards above the counters. There she had to stand on her toes to be able to take a look inside and then took out a glass. "Can you get one for me, too?", All of a sudden a deep, male voice sounded behind her and she froze in the middle of the movement, as if she had been frozen. She also knew exactly who was standing behind her without turning around. However, she tried not to let anything show when she had released herself from her short rigor and grabbed another gall before turning around. Her heartbeat, however, had accelerated noticeably.

Behind her stood Barnes, whom she had already heard in his voice, which had become marrow and leg over the years. Wordlessly, she passed one of the two containers to him, but quickly pulled her hand back to prevent her hands from touching. "Thank you", a little smile had appeared on his lips and she noticed him slowly moving his gaze over her body. And so she couldn't help but take a few seconds to look at him. His dark brown hair was tousled and fell into his eyes. He wore black sweatpants and a white T-shirt that didn't hide the slight curvature of his muscles. She swallowed heavily and turned to the sink to fill her glass with tap water. Damn, he still looked as good as ever. Maybe even better.

She stubbornly felt his gaze, under which she felt terribly naked, but tried to ignore it. In those seconds, she just tried not to put herself on more than a white T-shirt and grey shorts to sleep for. Clint didn't need more, but Bucky did.

"Do you have something with that guy?" he asked suddenly and she immediately drove around to him. As the eyebrows raised, he added something else: "The archer. This ... Barton." Now she understood what he meant and began to wonder why he cared. But she decided to make him wait for his answer, hoping that he might unconsciously answer her own unspoken question.

Therefore she supported herself relaxed with one hand played - in this situation she was anything but relaxed - on the bar behind her and slowly took a sip of her drink. Meanwhile he kept his eyes on her and she could see that he didn't like the wait very much. He was clearly used to it differently, but Natasha didn't care. The times when she was afraid of arguments with him were long gone. And that at least since they had lost their professional relationship in the Red Room.

"Why do you ask?" she asked and looked at him innocently when he sighed and apparently had to suppress a rolling of his eyes. "Well, you seem very ... intimate with each other", To her surprise, his voice was quiet and he tilted his head slightly to watch them with interest.

"Besides, I saw you just come out of his room," he added when she didn't seem to answer. She bit her lower lip slightly, knowing how strange it must have looked when she had just left Clint's room so little clothed. "It's none of your business," she began, but then became honest: "But no, Clint and I have just been very good friends for years. That's why we are so familiar with each other. Nothing more!" She didn't know exactly why she told him about it, but she tried to tell herself that she was doing it so he wouldn't tell the others anything wrong. But inside, however, she knew that was not the only reason.

Bucky's facial expression changed as soon as she finished the sentence. Something sparkled in his eyes that she would almost call satisfaction. But she quickly repressed that thought. That could not be at all! But there was a little smile on his lips that even she couldn't deny.

"I'd better go now", she said quickly to escape the situation and walked towards the door. But he remained immobile in the door frame and made no effort to step aside in response to her words. So she cleared her throat slightly as she stopped in front of him. What was he up to? For a moment he just looked her in the eye and didn't move, but then stepped a little to the side. Without staying any longer in front of him, she pushed herself past him and tried hard not to touch him. However, she thought she could feel the heat that his body radiated on her skin, so few centimeters they step on each other.

Having just passed him, he suddenly grabbed her wrist with his human hand and stopped her from walking on. But not only that. He also skilfully pulled her a few centimeters to himself, while taking care that she didn't stumble. Surprised, she turned her head to him with a questioning expression on her face, but still didn't feel the need to free herself from him. "Good night", he whispered with his deep, masculine voice, which shivered down her spine. Quietly she nodded not to answer powerfully anything, and the next moment he had let her go again. Still amazed, she turned on her heel to disappear into Clint's room again. With that in mind, she was still with Bucky.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Natasha stood there without a word, her hands supported in the sides, and watched Bucky and Steve. She had just entered the training room, but the men hadn't noticed her yet. So she used those seconds to watch the two friends. Although she knew that both decades, if not longer, had been separated, they seemed so familiar with each other as if this whole time had never been.

When Steve unconsciously turned her head in Natasha's direction during her conversation, the blonde suddenly noticed her and she waved to him smiling: "Hey, Stevie. You didn't even notice me." "Hey," the super-soldier replied, "You're too late." Immediately she crossed her arms in front of her chest: "Be glad that I'm doing this at all and if that bothers you so much, I'm free to go right away."

She hadn't really wanted to say that and didn't mean it, but she had been tense about it all morning. For a moment she had even thought about canceling. But then she decided that she couldn't do that to Steve at all. Finally, they relied on each other and she didn't want to break that trust. Her friendship was worth too much to her.

"Sorry," he said a little contrite: "It wasn't meant that way. Thank you for helping at all". Immediately she felt her heart getting heavy and began to feel bad about her words. "All right, let's just forget that and get started," she said quickly.

Now her eyes also fell on Bucky, whom she had previously faded out rather successfully. He looked at her from head to toe and there was an expression in his eyes that shivered down her spine. Why did he still have such an influence on her?!

"Damn, Steve, why didn't you tell me she looked so hot in those things," he whispered to Steve so that only he could hear it. Again he took a look and couldn't help but admit that she looked damn hot. He had noticed that before, but this one was beating everything else. Even the last night, when he had only seen her in short shorts and a T-shirt, couldn't top it.

With a warning look Steve stared at him: "Bucky, I don't want to hear anything like that. Keep those thoughts about my best friend to yourself." Bucky was about to answer something, so Natasha intervened: "Do we finally want to get started or not?

"Yes, sure," Steve replied immediately, but didn't let it be missed to give his friend a last look, who said as much as "Pull yourself together, Buck". Bucky pressed his jaws slightly together, but then said nothing about it and tried to pull himself together. To let the redhead look away, which was harder than expected.

"You two start best. I'll sit next to you and watch you," Steve suggested and Natasha shrugged her shoulders in agreement. Then, relaxed on the outside, she set herself in motion to slip into the boxing ring. Inside she was nervous now and that didn't improve as he climbed into the ring with her.

Now they were closer and she had the feeling she couldn't get out of his way so easily. If he had his memories of their shared past, she would feel a lot safer. Then she could at least be sure that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Guys, I want to see a fair fight. If someone is on the ground, it's over," the super-soldier admonished both of them equally. "Because an opponent with a metal arm is so fair," she sarcastically replied and took a look at the arm. In fact, that was what she least liked about the fight. He had had it before, but now she couldn't judge the man's ability. Surely she was not the only one who had developed her abilities.

"Come on, Nat," Rogers' voice was begging: "You've had to deal with quite different opponents before." She didn't tell him that Bucky had something completely different. "All right," she pulled herself together and fixed Bucky's face rather than his metal arm. "Then start when you're ready", with these words Steve let herself fall on a chair and stayed out of the whole thing, but watched her with excitement.

The agent took a few extra seconds to assess how he would fight. And she noticed that she also had at least one small advantage over him. Because she knew his fighting style or at least the one he had had before when he couldn't remember hers. However, it felt as if he, responding to the elegant style that she knew so well and that he had taught her, was going a bit more rash this time and just trying to hit it. Anyway, it had been the last time he had fought Steve and her.

"Ready," Bucky asked after a few seconds, tearing her from her thoughts. More self-confident than she just felt, she nodded, "Of course, anytime." A light smile appeared on his lips and a playful expression was reflected in his eyes.

She automatically went into a defensive posture as he took a few steps towards her, starting with a few punches that were easy for her to fend off. "Do you want more?" he grinned slightly as she swung to her blows. When she nodded, he simply held her fist clenched hands, preventing her from being able to detach herself from him.

She tried to free herself, but his grip was much too strong. Both were so close that she could feel his breath on her face. A hot shiver ran down her back. The longer she was close to him, the more nervous she became. So she chose a different technique and rammed a knee into his pit of the stomach. Bucky wasn't completely unimpressed by this either, as he came up lightly and staggered back a little. He was so distracted that she could free herself and take a few steps backward.

When he raised his head again and looked at her, he sulked slightly: "Unfair." He held the mange lightly, but couldn't really be angry with her. Instead, her attraction to him only increased. But it wasn't just that. There was something familiar about the young woman, but he didn't know what it came from.

"No, that was completely legitimate," she contradicted him shaking her head and this time she was the one who attacked. But this time it was different. Both fought on a par with each other and they complemented each other perfectly. It almost seemed to her as if nothing had changed, as if he was still the same and he still had his memories. Natasha knew, however, that this was not the case. Nevertheless, she let herself fall into the moment and enjoyed that it was at least for a moment like before.

But then he did something she hadn't expected. His metal hand embraced her hips and he pressed her against the ropes of the ring. Surprised, she gasped and her hands lay around his wrist, hoping to get him to let her go. But he held her so tight and just looked at her.

Suddenly two things had crept into his head, a picture, and a name, both of which suddenly seemed so familiar to him. It was only a few seconds, but it was her, it was younger, but it was her and she found herself in exactly the same position. He held on to her, but with a broad grin on his lips.

But Natasha brought him back to reality with a single word: "James, let me go." Though she didn't want it, she spoke to him by the name she had used to address him again and again and which had been stolen from him by HYDRA. He froze almost instantly, but then let her go slowly and stared at her with a spell. "Natalia," he breathed and took her face in his hands.

When the name sounded, which she had already discarded years ago, she shrugged slightly and looked at him with big eyes. First, her heart made a sentence and then beat faster. How did he know that name? He couldn't know that. Impossible!

But then she freed herself from his grip and climbed out of the ring as fast as she could. She had to get out of here quickly. "I'm through for today, Rogers," she shouted to Steve before she left the room with a door slam.


	10. Chapter 10

Slowly Bucky dropped onto the chair next to Steve. His whole body was numb and he stared spellbound at the boxing ring. So he just sat there for a few seconds before raising his voice again: "Sorry, Steve. I exaggerated." Steve put one hand on his friend's shoulder. "She will certainly never train with us again," she slowly released herself from his rigidity and looked at Steve apologetically.

The blonde tried to reassure Barnes: "Hey, don't worry about it. I knew from the start that she had only agreed to do me a favor." Bucky pressed his jaws against each other: "What? She didn't really want to?" Wordlessly, Rogers shook his head: "No, she didn't tell me anything."

Again, both men were silent again and it seemed as if they were both trying to find their own answer to this question. "Steve", Bucky attracted his friend's attention again after a few seconds. "Yes," Steve's forehead wrinkled. "I-I saw something while I was fighting with her," he hesitantly spoke.

A hopeful expression flashed in Steve's eyes and he was literally hanging from the dark-haired man's lips: "What? Really now? Tell me! Bucky swallowed hard. Somehow it felt strange to talk about it. Even with Steve, his best friend, to whom he confided everything else. But that had something intimate about it. It wasn't so much the scene itself, but rather her. Because suddenly there was something, a feeling that arose when he thought of her. And he couldn't even explain why. Only that this feeling had arisen with the picture in his head.

"It feels like a shred of memory," Barnes slowly began to describe. A broad grin appeared on Steve's face and friends spread in him: "That is, it worked? You'll get your memories back." Bucky nodded quietly. Actually, that was great news even in his understanding, but what he saw was far too much on his mind at that moment. So they could already do each other for a long time.

If he was honest, he had already had the feeling of knowing them from somewhere when he arrived at the Avengers Tower. And not only from the fight against Steve, Sam and her a few months ago. But it was just an unfounded feeling, but now it was different. He had the proof, but he still couldn't tell when and how they knew each other. And probably she would be the only one who could answer his question.

"And what exactly did you remember," Steve repaired, whereupon Bucky froze for a moment: "And why exactly in the fight with Natasha? Although the blonde soldier was his best friend, he just asked far too much for Bucky's taste. Or at least he asked the wrong questions.

For a moment his inner struggle was reflected in his eyes and he had to wrestle with himself to open his mouth and raise his voice: "I saw Natalia, um... I mean Natasha." Steve raised his eyebrows and the surprise is written in his face: "N-Natasha? W-Why that?" Bucky bit her lower lip slightly: "I don't know. It just happened when I grabbed her."

Silence filled the room for a moment and Steve just stared into space before rising from his chair. "Steve," he tried to grab his friend's hand, but he pulled it away. Steve set himself in motion but didn't go to the door, but just walked back and forth as if he had to think about something, clear his head. "Steve, what's the matter? immediately he began to feel bad.

He hadn't wanted to hurt his best friend, but what could he do? After all, he couldn't decide for himself what he suddenly remembered and what he didn't. However, it was clear to him that Steve had wished that he would remember their shared past and more details of the time they had together. Instead, the red-haired agent had sneaked into his thoughts and with her had come countless questions to which he urgently needed answers.

After a few minutes of Steve just walking around and thinking, the soldier stopped: "Buck, do me a favor." Bucky immediately raised his head and looked at him attentively. "Talk to Nat. I know you want to know everything about what you saw," he asked his friend. "Are you sure?", Bucky went over again. So far Steve had somehow not asked what he had seen exactly. Did he know anything that it was for Bucky and that he was reluctant to talk about it?

"Yes, I'm sure. I can see that it is occupying you, my friend", he laid a brotherly hand on his shoulder: "Besides, we can talk more about it later, if you want." Gratefully Bucky nodded and leaned slightly against Steve: "Thank you, you're really my best friend and I'd love to remember more about our past." "It's okay, it will come sometime. I'm sure you will. Now the main thing is that you even know that we are friends," he said to him well: "And now talk to Nat. Please." "If they talk to me at all," Barnes told him his reservations: "After all, she was pretty angry. But I try. Promise!


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh evening air. She tied the strings of her shoes one more time to make sure they wouldn't open at the next step and then started jogging at a moderate pace.

Running a lap in Central Park was exactly what she needed after the horror training session. So she had always been able to distract herself when she wanted to clear her head and had no mission. It might sound strange, but working helped her to get different thoughts again and again. When she slipped into a role, she not only laid off her name for a while, but also everything else that had to do with Natasha Romanoff, and that also included her worries.

At the time, however, there was either a clear ebb tide as far as new assignments were concerned, or Fury had quietly decided not to give her any new missions for any reason. So she had no choice but to try and relieve the stress.

Just when she was increasing her tempo a little, a loud voice rang out behind her: "Natalia, wait! When that name sounded, she shrugged noticeably and felt her whole body stiffening for a moment.

She didn't even have to turn around without knowing who had called. After all, only a few other people knew of that name and those who had been in the loop for some time knew that she didn't want to be called that. So it was undoubtedly Barnes.

But she didn't turn around and certainly didn't follow his request to wait. "Man, Natalia, stop," suddenly footsteps sounded behind her and she turned her head to the side to see that he was running after her and next to her a few seconds later.

"Don't call me that," she hissed and looked at him dead serious. She didn't want to talk to him, but that was important. After all, she couldn't risk him making the mistake of calling her by that name in front of the other Avengers.

"But that's your name,' the man looked at her confusedly. Unfortunately, he seemed to be well enough trained to follow her without any problems. She swallowed easily and then nodded: "Yes, but I don't want to be called that." "Why?" he continued drilling and she ran faster, hoping he would stay behind and leave her alone.

"Because that's not my name anymore," she explained, knowing that he wouldn't just let it be good if she didn't answer him now. His questioning expression on his face told her that he still had masses of questions, so she went straight on without him having to ask at all. "I changed him when I came to America and tried to leave my old life behind," she continued but avoided his gaze as he spoke.

"But how could you do that so easily?" Even though she didn't see his face, she felt his gaze drilling into her from the side. "I had no choice', as she spoke, her voice became noticeably quieter.

She didn't like to think about the darkest days of her life and didn't want to talk to him about it. Only one memory stood out from all the others. It was the day she first met Clint. S.H.I.E.L.D. had instructed him to kill her because she was slowly beginning to pose too great a danger - at that time she was still under HYDRA's control and was doing things that she has been following in her dreams ever since. But Clint had decided otherwise and made her an offer to go to America with him and work for S.H.I.E.L.D. there. And she had decided to come with him, decided on a new and better life.

Bucky Fragerei made her think about it again and the longer she spent with him the more she had to think about it. This made her realize that maybe there was one thing that had been good after all. Something that had saved her from becoming the monster for at least a while and that HYDRA had wanted to do for her. And that was the relationship between her and her coach, Bucky Barnes.

"Please, Natasha," suddenly he grabbed her by the arm and stopped her so abruptly. Surprised, she stared at him and tried to free herself from his grip, but he continued to hold her. She immediately avoided his gaze, but he put a hand on her cheek, "Hey, look at me." Gently he made her lift her head slightly and look at it again.

"You can still remember everything and have made the decision that you don't want anything to do with it anymore," he began and fixed her with his gaze: "I can't remember, though, so I don't get the chance to make the same decision for myself."

She remained silent and just stared at him. His words caused her heart to contract painfully. "It's not so bad in itself because I'll never go back to HYDRA," he continued when he realized that he had her attention: "But in time there are not only numerous murders veiled, but also good memories of relationships I once had, for instance. When he said 'relationships', she flinched again slightly. Did he know again that they had had something with each other?

He too had felt the slight twitch, because for a moment he just looked her in the eye, as if he was trying to find out what she was thinking. Then, however, he lowered his gaze slightly: "For example, the time during the war I had with Steve before I came to HYDRA. It's all gone and I just want it back. So if you can help me just a little, please do. You know how important that is to me."

For a few seconds, they were both silent, while the redhead's head was working wildly. Should she, or rather could she, help him? "All right," she took a short break to calm her heart that had started beating faster: "But bit by bit and not all at once." Relieved, he took a deep breath and his eyes reflected thanks. "And don't press me", with these words she freed herself from his grip and set herself in motion again without hesitation. That would certainly not be as funny as Barnes imagined it to be at that moment. She was already sure of that! But still, there was a small part inside her that stuck to the thought that there was at least a small chance that he knew again what they had had together. But that was surely complete nonsense and surely nothing more than pure wishful thought.


	12. Chapter 12

When Natasha came outside, the other Avengers had already gathered at the pool. Tony had persuaded the team to have a barbecue and they had all more or less agreed, as the city had become damned, and they all had a chance to go for a swim in the thunderstorm.

She let the view wander over the pool area and after a few seconds saw Clint on one of the sunbeds. Determined, she walked towards him with a light smile: "Hey, archer." "Hey, redhead," he replied with a grin: "Have you finally made it out of here?"

He alluded to the fact that today it took her an above-average amount of time to change. The reason for this was the fact that at some point she realized that Bucky would be there and from then on she had tried to waste as much time as possible. But she couldn't say why this thought hadn't occurred to her before. The fact that he was now living permanently with them, probably still didn't fit into her head.

She had agreed to help him, but honestly, she had no idea how exactly she should do that without telling him at the same time that they had feelings for each other. Somehow that was information she wanted to keep to herself. And that, although she couldn't think of a plausible reason for it. Was she perhaps afraid that it became completely clear that he no longer had the feeling of that time? So she could at least convince herself that it was still like that.

"It doesn't matter," she quickly waved off: "The main thing now is that I'm done." "I wouldn't have been able to stand it any longer alone with the others here," he said, and she could hear that he wasn't joking about it. He took his feet from the back of the couch so that he could sink on it.

For a few minutes they just talked about this and that before Tony interrupted the two: "Romanoff, can you swing your ass here for a minute? From the corner of her eye, she saw Clint open his mouth to answer something. As she knew her best friend, he probably intended to tell Tony that she also had a first name and that he shouldn't talk to her like that.

But she just put one hand on his thigh, shook his head still and gave him a That - is - it - not worth - look. She couldn't resist rolling her eyes when she rose and walked towards the man who had positioned himself at the grill. "You called me to you so nicely," she greeted him with a bittersweet smile. He immediately let her gaze wander over her and commented on her white bikini with a "Good Choice, Romanoff". She crossed her arms in front of her chest: "You didn't seriously call me in to talk to me about my clothes, so come to the subject. Or at least I hope for your sake that's not the reason." "It's not," he assured her and nodded towards the barbecue: "Actually, I just wanted to know what exactly you wanted to eat."

Surprised, she took a look at the grill and told him a few things she wanted. But then she felt someone put their hands on her shoulders. For a moment, she flinched slightly and interrupted her conversation with Stark to drive around.

When she recognized Steve behind her, she relaxed noticeably: "Hey." Instead of responding, he pulled Natasha into his arms: "I'm sorry I got you to do something you didn't want to do." For a moment she was perplexed and frozen, but then she closed her arms around him. A light smile crept onto her lips and she said in a soothing voice: "All right, Steve. I was never angry with you. Yesterday I just overreacted." Immediately she detached herself from her and looked at her in surprise: "Are you sure? "Yes, I am," she put one hand on his shoulder: "Don't worry, okay?" He nodded and a contented expression appeared on his face. She had to argue with him or, if he felt bad about something, for something he couldn't do anything about. After all, he didn't know there was anything between Bucky and her time either. Although in the meantime she wondered if it wouldn't be better to talk to him about it at least for a moment.

When she took a quick look over his shoulder, she noticed Bucky. Bucky had sat down on the couch next to Steve, but the conspicuous ones were his slit eyes and his unhappy look. If she didn't know any better, she'd say it was almost a jealous expression. One of her eyebrows raised and she gave him a questioning look. Thereupon he immediately turned his gaze away. Almost as if he felt caught.

"Well, I'm going to go for a swim while the food's not ready," she announced to the whole troop and then looked at Steve provocatively: "Are you coming, Captain?" By the nickname, the blonde super soldier grinned broadly and ran around in front of her towards the pool before making a running jump into it. A gush of water splashed not only Natasha but also Clint and Bucky slightly wet. "Man, Rogers, you'll get that back," Clint shouted and jumped up from his place to follow him. Natasha laughed slightly at her teammates and then followed them into the water herself.

The relaxed atmosphere was good for all team members and they relaxed more and more. Clint grabbed Natasha in the water and whispered something in her ear. She then placed herself underwater on his hands so that he could lift her out a bit. Then she gave her enough momentum to do a backflip before diving back in. Clint laughed and she grinned at him broadly as she reappeared. "We should go swimming more often," he said as he swam back towards her. "Well, this pool's been around the whole time," he said, "We've hardly used it so far." "We just had a lot to do," he admitted, and she couldn't help but agree with him: "I'm tired of alien and winter soldiers - dramas for the time being, though.

"Oh, believe me, I too," she agreed with him, while she floated on her back next to him: "But I'm afraid I can't completely avoid the latter." "What do you mean?", his eyebrows went up. His reaction made it clear to her that she hadn't even told him what she had let herself in for yet.

Almost automatically she looked over at Bucky from the corner of her eye. He was the only one besides Stark who hadn't gotten into the water yet. Instead, she noticed that he looked over at her quite openly. Almost as if he hadn't noticed her gaze yet. "I agreed, though reluctantly, to help Bucky get his memories back," Natasha revealed to her best friend: "Otherwise he probably wouldn't have left me alone anyway. "You did something", a little shocked he stared at her and seemed to need a few moments to digest this new information. After a few seconds, however, he got over it again, since he continued to ask with a calm voice: "How did it come to this? He knew exactly that this was an important topic for her and he didn't want to leave her alone with it.

She remained silent for a moment, but then swallowed and began to explain: "When I trained with the boys yesterday, he suddenly remembered something new. To be honest, I didn't give him time to explain exactly what he saw. All I know is that it was about me." She took a short break to put her thoughts in order but then continued slowly: "He called me Natalia.

Just as he was about to open his mouth and return something, it was his turn to be called to him by Tony. Annoyed he rolled his eyes, mumbled a "Excuse me a second, Nat" and then swam towards the edge of the pool to get to Stark. Instinctively, her gaze wandered to Steve, who seemed so absorbed in a conversation with Bruce and Thor that she didn't want to disturb the three.

"Well", suddenly a familiar voice sounded close to her ear and she flinched slightly. "Na", she replied a little more uncertainly than one was used to from her. Bucky's breath was hot on her skin as he greeted her and she shuddered noticeably. When she reacted she laughed slightly: "I'll remember that." She swallowed easily and at that moment hated herself for the fact that he still had such an effect on her.

She didn't even know why, but she stayed rooted and waited for one of them to do something. And although she would never admit it, she liked to feel his body pressing against her back. His body was still just as perfect for her as it used to be.

When he let his hands wander to her hips, she leaned against him as if by herself, although she had wanted to avoid something like this. But she couldn't help herself. Both remained silent for a moment as he slowly let his fingers wander to a spot on her belly. Carefully he stroked over the scar that was there. "D - That was me, right?" he asked carefully and was surprisingly gentle as he touched her. She swallowed easily. You could hear exactly that he felt at least a little guilty about it, and she thought about pressing that question to spare him. But then she nodded and wanted to get away from him again, but he still held her tight. "Please stay with me', he asked and gently stroked her hair.

She sighed, but then gave up and looked over her shoulder to him: "How did you know that? "Steve once hinted at something like that," he explained to her, "that means it's not a real memory of you," she bit her lower lip slightly. "Well, when he told me, a few shreds of memory came back," he said honestly, and she immediately realized that those were not necessarily beautiful pictures: "But I can't trust my mind anymore. That's why I asked you." "You trust me," she turned around in his arm in amazement so she could look at him when he answered her.

He smiled at her as she turned to him: "Well, what do you think? Otherwise, I wouldn't have asked you for help. "Maybe you only asked me for help because I was in one of your memories," she replied, "that's true, but with the memories suddenly trust came to you, which I probably already had in you when the memory came into being," his words immediately made her heart beat faster. With the memories, feelings came back once again? She hadn't thought of this possibility in her dreams. A small glimmer of hope flared up in her.

His glance awakened the impression that he had looked at her exactly what she thought, but she didn't notice anything about it. "But I'm still not grateful for the scar," she changed the subject: "So don't shoot me again." "Don't worry, it wasn't on my to-do list at first," he said with a slight grin. "But I'm glad," she said sarcastically but smiled slightly as well: "Otherwise I can slowly say goodbye to bikinis for good: "Well, we don't want that," with these words he let the gaze wander over her beautiful body: "Although you always look good. A slight redness spread over her cheeks. To hear something like that from him again would probably never get her used to it.


	13. Chapter 13

After returning from a relatively short mission in the evening, Natasha had wanted nothing more than to finally get rid of her bloodstained clothes and take a hot shower. Then she immediately put on fresh clothes and dried her red curls as she didn't necessarily feel the urge to get sick. Although the last two days had been quite hot in the city, everything had cooled down to a much more pleasant temperature.

Then she had immediately gone into the living room and let herself fall on his two long sofas. Slowly she got exhausted after work and was happy to finally have some time for herself. As far as she knew, she had the tower to herself today because Thor had something to settle in Asgard, Bruce worked with Tony in the lab in the helicarrier and Steve and Clint had been sent on a mission together by Fury. And although she missed Clint and Steve a bit already, she was still happy to have a break from the usual team chaos.

Her mission today let her pass in thought for a few minutes, but then suddenly a loud clearing of the throat penetrated her ears. Surprised, she followed the sound with her eyes and surprisingly discovered someone in the door frame. "Bucky? What are you doing here", you could hear exactly that she hadn't expected it at all.

"I live here," he explained with a light smile on his lips and pushed himself off the door frame. She swallowed easily. How could she always forget that?! "Oh yes, that's right", she avoided his gaze, but she took it, but still perceived exactly how he approached her.

"Did you forget that I'm still here?" she heard him put something on the glass table before he dropped onto the sofa with her. She had stretched out long there, so he just reached for her legs to sit down. Then he put her down on his shit, so he was still in almost the same position as before.

A little perplexed by the sudden closeness he had taken to her, she didn't think for a moment about answering his question. But then his question came back to his mind and she opened her mouth: "I thought you weren't at home like the others either". "Well then it almost looks as if we'd both been here alone for the rest of the evening," he estimated the situation correctly and bent forward to reach for what he had left there. "Seems so," she only replied and wasn't sure whether she should be happy or not. If she was completely honest with herself, she had liked his touches in the pool better than it was probably good.

"Here, I brought you something," he made her look at the table for the first time. Two cups were standing there, from which light steam clouds rose. She looked over at the man in amazement. She hadn't expected that. But he had thought of her and his next words confirmed this assumption even more: "I noticed you already an hour ago when you came back. His smile widened and got a teasing touch. "Stalker," she replied, smiling also slightly, as he first took one of the two cups to press it into her hand and then appropriated the other.

Interested, she tilted the cup in her hands so that she could look in, while a familiar scent rose into her nose. She lifted the gaze from the green liquid and looked at it in wonder, while the hot drink, whose warmth penetrated the cup, made her shiver slightly: "Did Steve tell you? His eyebrows raised slowly: "Told me what?" "That I like to drink tea in the evening and that green tea is my favorite", she explained to him. He had listened attentively to her but immediately began to shake his head when she fell silent again: "No, something simply told me that you would like it and it wasn't Steve.

She hadn't expected it and couldn't help but smile. When she realized that she had had this habit before, her heart was beating faster. Was that perhaps also something he unconsciously remembered?

He had noticed her gaze, for suddenly he had put on a knowing gaze. However, he seemed to have no answer to this question either, as he said nothing about it. You both didn't seem to know how it worked when Bucky's memories came back and why it only happened at certain moments.

"Do you want to watch a movie," he struck after a few seconds of drinking his tea and watching her. For a moment she was a little confused that such an idea came from him, but was not averse to it and nodded in agreement: "Sure. She grabbed the remote and handed it to him: "Pick something." "Doesn't it matter to you what we watch?" he asked, wondering as she took her legs from his lap to sit down. Immediately she nodded: "Yes, just choose something. You can't imagine how many bad movies I've watched with the guys. Another one is not the world now either." "Hey," he looked at her sulking and poked her slightly in the side, but that only elicited an amused laugh from her: "I have good taste." "Yes," she kept teasing him laughing and infected him with it so that he began to grin.

"You're mean," he murmured with a grin and gently pulled her towards him. Contrary to both her expectations, however, she admitted it and pressed her face slightly against his chest, since he was a little bigger than herself. Her warm breath penetrated the fabric of his T-shirt and chased a comforting shiver down his spine. He wrapped his arms around her and inhaled her strangely familiar search: "I like to see you happy." She kept her eyes closed and enjoyed the still so familiar feeling of his body on her own, of which she only now noticed how much she had missed it and also him.

She sighed and leaned slightly against him. She would never have thought that he would still feel so good. She opened her eyes and lifted her head again to look at him. His gaze lay on her lips and for a moment she held her breath. Bucky also seemed to notice this immediately and gently stroked her back with her fingers: "I love to look at you. His touch made her relax a little more and she put her head on his shoulder. She felt her heart begin to beat faster as he pushed a strand behind her ear.


	14. Chapter 14

Bucky gently stroked a strand from Natashas face while continuing to wrap the other arm around her so she could not fall off the sofa. Around the middle of the film, which she didn't think was as bad as she had expected, she was slowly overcome with exhaustion and fell asleep in his arms.

As well as he could, he had moved her and himself into a lying position, so that she now lay with her head on his chest. He had not wanted to wake her up. A little sleep certainly did her more than good after the mission she had done today. He also enjoyed watching her sleep. She seemed so peaceful that he didn't want to disturb her.

Bucky couldn't explain it exactly, but in her presence, it was different than with the other Avengers. Even different than with Steve. But not only that. The more time he spent with her, the more he felt the urge to protect her and at the same time hoped to have her for himself more often.

"The Winter Soldier and the Black Widow", a voice suddenly sounded behind the man. Unlike Natasha, however, he didn't flinch but simply turned his head in the direction the voice came from. There Tony Stark stood with an amused grin in the door frame: "That I hadn't thought about it before".

For a moment Bucky just stared at him, perplexed but quiet. Bruce squeezed around behind Tony in the door frame but kept clearly in the background. "Don't talk shit, Stark," Bucky replied with a shake of his head as he looked back at Natasha from the corner of his eye to make sure she didn't wake up. But she still slept quietly and undisturbed.

Carefully, he laid one hand on her back to gently stroke it before turning back to Tony again. He had started to laugh easily: "You'll only be left alone for one day and that'll do." Bucky's gaze immediately darkened: "That's not as you think it is." "Then how is it," Stark wanted to reply, but Bruce grabbed him by the arm and gave him a warning look that spoke volumes.

"She just fell asleep and I didn't want to wake her up," Bucky replied to his question anyway: "And Natasha meant that we'd be alone for the rest of the day." "Maybe in your dreams," Tony mumbled, but so quietly that not even he could hear.

Bucky swallowed hard. He could vaguely remember one of the two shots and that alone made his heartache. Although he hadn't been there himself but had been controlled by HYDRA, he felt incredibly guilty and wished he could undo things he had done as Winter Soldier to simply prevent this act. But he couldn't and would never do that. Steve had told her about the second shot. Fortunately, he had only been in the shoulder, but that didn't make it any better for the man.

Knowing what he had done in the last decades while working for HYDRA against his will drove him crazy and made the guilt almost painfully pelt down on him. He didn't even want to imagine how much blood was on his hands. And the fact that hers was added almost drove him crazy.

"It's none of your business," he growled as he slit his eyes together. "Tony, that's enough," Bruce grabbed his friend by the arm again, but he wasn't so careful and didn't let him leave again: "Come with me! Now it's time for you to go to bed." With a strength that Bucky had never expected from the doctor, he pulled the millionaire out of the door with him. He said more about himself than about the other two men: "You'll never get alcohol from me again at work, Tony."

A rumble from the hallway was heard for a moment, but then it was quiet again and Barnes breathed calmly. He could have done without this conversation with Stark. Especially since the man didn't seem to like him anyway and didn't even begin to try.

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking that he had shot her. He dared to look down on her again and noticed that she had hardly moved in the meantime. With his fingers, he stroked her cheek in a gentle movement, as if afraid to hurt her again.

"I'm sorry, Tasha," he whispered thoughtfully, although he knew she couldn't hear him: "I wish I could turn back time and protect you from all those things I did to you."

"I'm so sorry," he stressed once more before his forehead slightly lay against hers and listened to her calm, steady breathing. Slowly the eyes of the man with the metal arm closed as well, while the warmth of her body made him feel comfortable and sleepy as well. But then exhaustion overcame him and dragged him down into the world of dreams.


	15. Chapter 15

Sitting cross-legged, Natasha sat in front of the glass table in the living room, sifting through one of the files from her last mission. For some reason, Fury had blocked her from any mission, so she began to get bored.

When the sound of a door opening penetrated her ears, she didn't even react. Instead, she continued to fly over the words half-heartedly, holding her head in her hands.

"Hey", but suddenly Bucky's voice sounded. This one word was enough to make her raise her head jerkily. In front of the table, only a few meters away from her, the man with the metal arm stood and looked down at her with interest.

"Hey," she replied and let the gaze wander over him, hoping to somehow find out what he wanted. But Bucky had never been easy to read and so she couldn't find out why he had come to her.

However, there was also a thought she hadn't had before that she could get rid of. The evening she had spent with Bucky yesterday had admittedly not been so bad. On the contrary. In fact, after some time she had felt comfortable in his presence. One could almost say that it had even felt like when he was in the Red Room with her and did everything to protect himself.

Feeling his arms wrapped around her body again, they had moved back in time for a few moments, reminding her how they had managed to keep each other from becoming the monsters they had been tried to become.

"What are you doing", his words instantly brought them back to reality and led them to banish the thought from his mind.   
"I pretend to work," she honestly admitted and closed the file soberly sighing.

"She leaned against the sofa in her back and turned to Bucky.

"Why? New ones would certainly be more interesting," he replied with his head crooked. Natasha tilted her head slightly: "Yes, I'm sure. But Fury doesn't let me anymore for some reason."

"Wouldn't you like to do something interesting," these words immediately attracted her attention. To be honest, a change was something she could use. She really couldn't see the tower anymore.

"Maybe", she sounded interested, but first wanted to know exactly what he was up to. He let his gaze wander over her: "Well, you have to trust me a little."

She moaned disillusioned: "Come on, tell me what you're up to."

"The spy is talking about you, huh?" he asked with a slight smile. The redhead bit her lower lip. How could he see through her so easily?

"Oh, come on, Natasha. I need your help for that and I assure you that will be better than reading old files," he had walked around the table towards her and now stretched out a hand towards her. For a moment she hesitated, but then decided to overcome. How bad could an afternoon with the man be?

"All right," she grasped his hand atypically hesitantly so that he could slowly pull her from the floor to her feet. He smiled cheerfully: "Thank you, you won't regret it."

He held her hand in his hand noticeably longer than necessary.

Then he pulled her purposefully towards the elevator. Natasha, however, could not hide her curiosity: "Where exactly are we going now?"

He sighed, but looked over at her and, to her surprise, actually decided to answer: "I intend to go to Brooklyn".

"Brooklyn? Why exactly there?", she went after.

When the district was mentioned, something rang, but she couldn't say exactly what it was. But she was sure that he had not chosen these words by chance. Something had to be behind it.

"Steve is originally from Brooklyn", she noticed that he turned his head slightly away from her as if to avoid her gaze. But that was enough for her to put the puzzle pieces together in her head.

"You too, didn't you?" she looked over at him in amazement.

Steve had told her at some point that both men had been friends since childhood and had lived in Brooklyn before the war. However, the war had separated them violently and Bucky, after Steve had believed him dead, had come to HYDRA and become her instructor in the Red Room, while Steve had been lying frozen in the ocean for countless years after the war without anyone knowing he was still alive.

Surprisingly quiet, he nodded and pressed the elevator button, but there was still a question on her mind: "Is there a particular reason for this trip?"

"Well", Bucky nodded and looked at her again: "So far it has always been the case that a few memories have come back when I have spent time with people I know from my past. So I was thinking that maybe this could also work with places."

That thought hadn't even occurred to her yet, but honestly, it didn't sound like such a bad idea. There was no reason why places shouldn't have the same effect.

"And why did you ask me if I was going with you and not Steve?", The elevator doors glided with a 'ping' and the two assassins stepped in.

"Don't tell Steve" he started to explain with a slight grin: "But with you, remembering works out better."

She stared at him in amazement as he leaned against the walls of the cabin.

"Seriously," she asked him to repeat his words but nodded in agreement: "I have no idea why, but that's the way it is. Besides, I want to show you where I come from."

"Who says I've never been to Brooklyn before?" she replied, but also began to grin. Strangely enough, she suddenly felt more comfortable in his presence than before.

"Steve said that he had never been there with you before and even if he had, I can still show you my places," he said winking.


	16. Chapter 16

With a dissatisfied expression on her face, Natasha pushed herself through the door between all the people and was happy when she finally no longer had to sit squeezed between other people in the subway.

Behind her, there was a laugh and she turned around. Bucky had left the vehicle after her and now grinned at her amusedly: "You don't like subway travel that much."

Immediately she shook her head firmly. The redhead had never been a friend of it before to be stuck in a stuffy, narrow room or companion with so many other people. That's why she couldn't wait to finally arrive and step out into the cool station.

"I love subways. It makes you so much faster than when you walk," he had caught up with her and reached for her hand to pull her in a certain direction.

"And it doesn't bother you that strange, sweating people sit pressed against you", she replied as they walked towards an escalator together.

"You can tell you're not from New York," he laughed, and she sulked only slightly.

Together they stood on the right side of the escalator and watched the people rushing past them on the left. "So, what do you want to show me first," she asked after a few seconds.

"Let yourself be surprised," he asked her, whereupon she groaned soberly.

"I don't like surprises", she replied and he nodded: "Yes, I notice that too."

"And that's why you change your strategy and tell me?," she suggested and pushed her lower lip forward a bit to look at him pleadingly.

He shook his head in rejection: "Forget it. You'll have to do more than just look at me."

But he kept to himself that her begging look made him a little soft. But a sudden growl in her stomach made Bucky change the subject and take a look at the wristwatch he had wrapped around his human wrist: "Have you eaten anything today?"

"Why are you asking?" she almost avoided his question a little.

"It's already three and your stomach is growling," he explained to her and his gaze almost had a worried pull.

"I skipped breakfast today," she replied shrugging her shoulders.

"Then I'd say that we'd go out for something to eat first", he suggested with a smile: "After all, it's already three o'clock and I know a very good restaurant."

Surprised, she lifted her head: "You remember a restaurant from your old days?"

He laughed slightly but shook his head: "No, Google was a great help to me when I didn't want to cook once."

"You know how google works," she teased with a grin, even though she had hoped it was a new memory.

"I'm not Steve," Bucky replied with slightly pinched eyes, but her grin also infected him. They both alluded to the fact that the blonde super-soldier hadn't even had a clue what the Internet was or how to use it.

"I had already noticed that," she grinned and squeezed his hand slightly, which she hadn't let go of yet and for which she didn't feel the need.

"I look better. I know," he joked, but she only avoided his gaze so that he wouldn't notice her approving gaze.

But then the escalator was already over and they walked together through the entrance hall, out onto the street. Outside the sun was shining, but fortunately, it was not as warm as in the trains.

She slightly pinched her eyes when the sun slightly dazzled her, but then looked over at Bucky and looked at him questioningly: "Okay, let's go. Show me the way, Barnes."

Surprised at her sudden initiative in this little excursion, he looked at her, but then started to move.

However, the man gradually began to feel a dull feeling. Because although he might not remember most of the buildings and places, he was just about to show her where he came from and where he had lived for many years before he was made a completely different person, the Winter Soldier.

But he tried to suppress this feeling and instead dragged her with him in a certain direction. He had told Steve what he was going to do and he had told him exactly where he had lived before and told him a few places to visit Bucky. He had been able to tell his best friend that he hoped Bucky's tactics would work, and maybe it would have been better if he had come here with Steve. However, Bucky wanted to spend time with Natasha and this trip had been the perfect excuse.

"I'll show you where I used to live," he explained, realizing that surprises weren't necessarily something she was a big fan of.

"Do you remember that?" she looked up at him in surprise. For a moment her green eyes found his gaze and prevented him from looking away.

"Steve told me a few house numbers to look for", after a few seconds he looked away, hoping she hadn't noticed his look. However, he could still feel her gaze resting on him.

"Well, let's hope Steve didn't send you to a strip club," she laughed, making him look over at her again.

"You're impossible", he couldn't help it when his mouth corners raised: "Besides, he certainly doesn't even know what that is."

"If I'm impossible, you're at least as bad," she playfully elbowed him in the side and grinned broadly.

He just opened his mouth to reply, and suddenly stopped abruptly. Suddenly it was as if all words had disappeared from his head, as if everything was empty and someone had gained access to his consciousness, to let completely new, but at the same time already decades-old pictures shoot through his thoughts.


	17. Chapter 17

"Bucky", he could feel a hand resting on his arm and began to shake him slightly as they tried to wake him from a dream: "James, what's going on?"

But the words that came out of Natasha's mouth at that moment were only muffled in his ears.

Bucky's gaze was fixed straight ahead on an inconspicuous house, while hundreds of different images and scenes were resting through his head, repeating the place in his memories they had once possessed. Moments from his childhood and youth, as well as moments with Steve, made their way back into his consciousness and brought back all the sensations he had already experienced in those moments. At the same time, it felt as if he was suffocating under this overexcitation, but at the same moment, he was also ecstatic.

"Hey, James," when Natasha laid her hands on his cheeks, woke him up from the strange state he had fallen into. He blinked a few times before being abruptly brought back to reality. Before him, he recognized Natasha, who looked at him anxiously. Surprisingly gently she stroked her thumb across his cheek until she noticed that he was back.

She quickly pulled her hands away, hoping it hadn't noticed, but he gently grabbed her hands and held them lightly.

"Are you all right?", she asks, but avoided his gaze, hoping that her pulse would not tell him how fast her heart was beating.

"Yes, everything is fine again", he confirmed to her in a soothing tone, since he had noticed exactly how worried she had been about him. She tried to sound as self-confident as before: "What was going on?

A slight smile appeared on his lips as she gently stroked the back of her hand with her thumbs: "It looks like my theory is correct."

It took her a few seconds to realize what he meant.

"You remember?" the trait of fear in her voice was replaced by surprise and joy.

"Yes, I remember that I lived in this street both with my family and later alone," he began to explain: "And I remember so many moments with Steve that I had here."

With her mouth open, she stared at him as he spoke, gently releasing her hands from his grip and wrapping her arms around him: "That's great. I never thought it would work."

For a moment he was surprised by her reaction, but then he wrapped his arms around her delicate body as well: "If you react like that, I don't even want to imagine Steve's reaction."

A joyful smile had spread on his lips and for a moment a pure feeling of contentment was spreading inside him. Only one thing still bothered me. For although he suddenly had many memories of Steves and his friendship again, he still didn't know more about Natasha and his existing, common past. But the man would surely still be able to figure that out. He was sure of that!

"Tell me what exactly you remembered," she looked up at her pleadingly and he could see real interest in her eyes. He was just about to answer, there was the growling of her stomach to be heard again, which is why he slowly broke away from him: "What do you think if we go out for something to eat now and I tell you everything?"

She thought briefly about his suggestion but then nodded: "That sounds like a bad idea."

"Great, then come," he put a hand around her shoulders and was surprised to find that she didn't seem to plan on complaining about it. However, he decided not to comment, as he was sure she would change her mind quickly if he picked on it now.

So he just enjoyed the closeness to her and strolled with her slowly across the street, beginning to focus on his surroundings. But his eyes kept falling on Natasha, who also looked at the buildings and people around her. How did this woman manage to captivate him so much since her first meeting? At least since the first meeting that could remember.


	18. Chapter 18

Natasha took a sip from her teacup and gave Bucky an interested look over the edge. He was busy with his noodles, so he didn't seem to notice that he was attracting their attention at that moment. This gave her a chance to catch a longer glimpse of him. His slightly longer, dark hair fell slightly into his face but did not hide his brown eyes. They had noticed a glow that day that they had never seen before. It had been so full of joy that it had not been easy for her to turn her gaze away from his eyes.

By the time his memories had returned, she had realized that she was no longer just helping because Steve had asked her to and because she had promised Bucky. Without her noticing, her whole intention had changed. Now she just wanted to help him so that he would be happy and she could see that special expression in his eyes again.

"What?", Bucky's voice suddenly sounded and brought her back to reality. She hadn't even noticed that he had raised his head and noticed her gaze. To save herself from the slight blush she felt rising in her cheeks, she lowered her gaze into the cup and stared concentrated at the liquid. Fortunately, he didn't know what she was thinking.

"Oh nothing," she just mumbled, hoping he wouldn't ask anymore. And luckily he left it at that. The only thing he did was to reach out and gently lay his hand on hers resting on the table. This innocent touch was enough to make her look up again and look up at him from her now entangled hands.

"So, shall I tell you what I remembered?" he asked after a few seconds of silence in which she had just looked at each other.

"Sure," she nodded without a second's hesitation. And that was exactly the reason why she had come here with him. So he could get more of his memories back, not spend time together.

"By far the best thing I've seen is pre - serum Steve," he grinned broadly and she couldn't resist a little laugh.

"I wish I had seen that too," she laughed amusedly and leaned back on her chair, relaxed.

"Oh, I'm sure that at least in his S.H.I.E.L.D. file a picture of it exists," he advised her winking and she remembered that her boyfriend actually never let her look in his file and always suddenly began to print. Maybe Bucky had just told her the reason for this behavior.

"I have to see this," she took another sip of her green tea.

Bucky laughed and then continued with his stories. She listened attentively and again noticed this glow in his eyes as he confided all these moments of his life to her. It was impressive how much he suddenly knew again and noticed that with all the memories countless different emotions must have returned.

It probably took a while for him to finish his stories, but for Natasha, it had only felt like a few minutes. "It's really impressive how much you know again," she put her now empty cup down and supported herself with one arm on the edge of the table to support her head in her hands: "I never thought it would work so well."

"Oh, neither did I. You can believe me," it came surprisingly from him. Surprised, Natasha looked at Bucky: "Really now? You acted as if you knew exactly that it would work."

Smiling, he shook his head: "Of course I had hoped for it, but I wasn't sure at all".

"Fortunately, it worked. Then at least we now know how to do it," she said contentedly.

But he just shrugged his shoulders and didn't seem quite so convinced: "At a certain point it won't work anymore."

"What? Why?", his words surprised them quite a bit, since he had been the one who had come up with the idea in the first place and had believed that it could work.

"I can't even remember the places I was. So how was I supposed to visit them to get my memories from there," he began to explain as he pressed his jaws slightly against each other:"My memories don't go any further than the beginning of the war. I only know, thanks to Steve, that I fell from a train and from then on everyone thought I was dead. But even he doesn't know what happened afterward."

It took her a few seconds to realize what he had just said. Steve had often told her how he had lost Bucky. At that moment, however, she realized that he didn't know she had met Bucky afterward. And Bucky had no idea about it either. That may be made Natasha one of the only people who knew anything about that time. Clint and Fury knew about it, but there was no doubt in her mind that both would not say a word to anyone else if they didn't want to.

She swallowed hard. So it was up to her whether he got that part of his memories back. But she was sure that he associated as many bad memories with it as she did. Once all those things that were done to him there were pattering down on him in an unstoppable downpour, she couldn't judge how he would handle them. But it wasn't right to give him the chance to cheat and take full control of his memories and let him decide for himself who he wanted to be from now on.


	19. Chapter 19

"I'm gonna go look for Steve, okay?", Bucky told her when they stepped out of the elevator. They had spent a few more hours in town and just walked aimlessly. But it wasn't the same for them anymore. Much too busy she had been with the question of what to do. Should she tell Bucky everything or not? Although she had tried to convince herself that he would find out on his own, she remained completely divided between the two possibilities.

Immediately she nodded and wanted to make her way into the living room when surprisingly a hand layed on her shoulders and his voice sounded again: "Wait."

Surprised, she turned around to him again with her eyebrows raised and looked at him questioningly.

"Thank you," he took his hand off her shoulder, but briefly touched her hand.

"For what?", she asks in surprise.

"For coming with me. I probably wouldn't have done it alone," a little smile appeared on his lips. She also smiled: "I'd be happy to do that again anytime."

With these words, she drove around again and started to move again without giving him a chance to reply.

She went straight into the living room where she discovered Clint on the sofa. Immediately she walked towards her best friend and fell on the couch next to him: "Hey."

"Hey," he replied with a broad grin that had appeared on his lips when he discovered her.

"Where have you been all day?" he asked and began to sulk slightly as he continued: "I haven't seen you for days."

"I'm sorry", she leaned slightly against him and wrapped her arms around him when she noticed that he was right. For the last few days, he had been on a mission with Steve and only returned a few hours ago: "I was on my way.

"On the way," he looked down at her in surprise, as if to say that she had never done anything like this before. She narrowed her eyes slightly to slits, but wasn't angry: "Hey, don't say that like I never just walk out and through town."

"Was it like that? Normally you don't just decide to go for a walk for no reason," he teased, but they both knew that at least a spark of truth was hidden in his statement.

She bit her lower lip lightly. Clint knew her far too well. So he made it almost impossible for her to hide anything from him. It almost seemed as if he could read in her like in an open book.

"Not directly," she admitted and sank deeper into the sofa cushions. His facial expression told her that he would ask for more details anyway, so she didn't even try to avoid it.

"Bucky asked me if I was going into town with him and I let him talk me into it," she murmured, avoiding his gaze. But she still saw the wiggling of his eyebrows and looked at him insulted: "It's not what you think."

"Sure," grinned the archer broadly and continued to wiggle his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

"You're a bad best friend," she gently elbowed him to the side, hoping he'd let that allusion go before one of the other Avengers knew.

"Not at all, I'm a great best friend," he laughed against her: "Besides, you always do that when you see me with a woman. So this is my revenge, so to speak."

 _Point for him_ , she thought, but deliberately didn't say it out loud.

"Besides, I know I'm right. You just don't want to admit it, Nat," he said with an honest look.

She was about to open her mouth and say something in return - although she couldn't think of a good excuse - but suddenly they were interrupted. When Tony's voice sounded behind them, Natasha drove around to the door: "I'm afraid you'll have to postpone your girl talks for now if you don't want everyone to listen.

For the first time in a long time, Natasha was really glad to be interrupted by Stark. So before Clint could turn him down, she nodded quickly: "Sure. It wasn't that important anyway."

She could feel Barton's gaze on her and be sure that he had immediately seen through her bad attempt to squirm out of her face.

"We'll talk about this later," she could hear him whisper, but Natasha just pretended she didn't hear him and kept looking at Tony instead. He had already drummed together all the other inhabitants of the tower - apart from Thor, who was still in Asgard.

"What exactly is there," she asked when the others pressed past the man to sit down on the seats as well. The expressions on her faces told her that even her teammates had no idea what the millionaire wanted.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Bucky looking over at her at that moment. But he didn't notice her look.

"I think it's time for a party", the millionaire announced with a big grin: "I mean, we barely have any missions right now, and we haven't celebrated our last victory yet."

"Do you really want a party or are you just looking for an excuse to drink," Steve asked a legitimate question. However, everyone present - except Bucky - knew that Tony was somehow worse off on Steve lately than usual.

Tony's eyes immediately narrowed slightly to slits and opened his mouth to reply. But before he could speak, Natasha intervened: "I think Tony is right. We didn't celebrate our victory and should make up for it."

She had just had another childish argument between the two of them, namely, she didn't feel like it. That's what they should do when they were alone.

"Sounds not bad", Clint agreed with her and Bruce also seemed to have nothing against the suggestion. On Steve's face a sour expression spread, but he had been outvoted by his teammates.


	20. Chapter 20

With two fingers she gently stabs the red, silky fabric of the dress she had pulled out of her closet and placed on her bed. A glance at the clock told her that she had hardly any time left to think back and forth. So she pulled her white shirt over her head and dropped it on the floor.

Then she lifted the dress from the bed and slowly opened the zipper. Hopefully, this party wouldn't sink completely into chaos as so often. But she probably wouldn't get around at least a glass of alcohol that evening if she thought that she would spend the whole evening with the boys and that Steve and Tony wouldn't save their usual fights.

Natasha slipped into the tight dress and pushed the thin straps over her shoulders. The fabric of her favorite garment felt good on his skin as always and a little smile appeared on her lips.

Again she opened the doors of the closet and took out a red pair of high heels that perfectly matched the rest of her outfit. She placed them on the floor and slowly slipped in.

Then she raised her head again and took a look in the mirror in front of her. The red lipstick fitted perfectly with the rest of her clothes and the red hair fell over her shoulders in soft curls.

Suddenly there was a hesitant knock on her room door. With a surprised look, she turned her head in the direction the sound had come from and answered in a questioning tone: "Come in".

On the other side, someone slowly pushed down the door handle and Steve stuck his head in before entering the room completely and closing the door behind him again. Looking searchingly, he looked around the room in search of her. When he noticed her in front of the closet, his facial expression changed.

With his lips slightly open, he let his gaze wander over her from top to bottom, before looking back up at her with slightly reddened cheeks: "Wow, Natasha, you just look stunning."

A little smile appeared on her lips: "Thank you, Steve."

"I'm sure he'll like it," he said and took a few steps toward him. Her eyebrows twitched up and she looked at him confused: "Who do you mean?"

Immediately he opened his mouth and wanted to answer her, something seemed to come to his mind and no sound left his lips.

"Steve," she tilted her head in a questioning expression and looked at him with a provocative look.

"Oh, forget what I said," he muttered and waved off. Suspiciously she narrowed her eyes slightly, but did not comment on it, but left it at that. After all, she knew how well Steve was doing in interviews and that wouldn't change her either.

Suddenly she remembered that she didn't even know what had led him to her: "Tell me, Steve, why are you here?"

She let her gaze wander over the man's body: "Apparently you're already done."

"Yes, I'm already there," he explained, but then also grabbed the tie that was untied around his neck. That was enough for her to know what had brought him into her room.

"As for that, I somehow have two left hands," he admitted uncertainly and looked at her pleadingly: "And I thought maybe you could ..."

"Sure, come here," she took a step towards him and grabbed the piece of cloth. She skilfully tied the necessary knot and then pulled it gently.

"Thank you, Nat," he smiled joyfully as he looked down at the result.

"Always happy," she replied with a smile and then distanced herself from him again.

"Then I'll go to the others," he said and nodded to her: "Are you coming with me?"

The redhead thought for a moment but then shook her head slowly: "No, I'll be right behind you. Give me another minute."

"Okay", with a shrug of his shoulder he shared his agreement and then walked towards the closed door again: "See you in a few minutes".

"Yes, see you soon," she smiled and watched as he disappeared within seconds.

She sighed slightly. Steve made such a buoyant impression today that she suspected Bucky had already told him the good news. However, his allusion was a mystery to her.

Quickly she tried to suppress these thoughts from her head, took a last look in the mirror and then stepped towards the door. Now it was time for a party. She could think about Steve's words even later.


	21. Chapter 21

Slowly Natasha walked through the slightly lit hallway towards the doors of the room where the party had already begun. With every step, music penetrated louder into her ears and a little smile appeared on her lips. Already now it felt like the change she needed.

She opened the doors and the view of the all too familiar group opened up for her. Bruce sat at the bar and Tony was mixing the scientist a drink while they talked. Clint, Steve, and Bucky, on the other hand, had made themselves comfortable in the sofa corner and the two blondes chatted while Bucky just watched them sip his drink. Thor was nowhere to be seen among the other guests whose faces she couldn't match. So she concluded that he was still bothering his brother.

She walked straight up to one of the sofas and greeted the boys with a smile: "Hey."

"Hey," Clint replied immediately and moved a little closer to Steve so she could sit next to him. The woman followed this silent invitation and let herself sink into the pillows next to him: "Have you already started drinking without me?"

"Yes, but I haven't drunk that much yet that I can't see how great you look," Clint grinned broadly and laughed: "But this sentence still tells me that you've had enough."

With these words and a broad grin, she took the half-full glass out of his hand and began to sip it herself, while she relaxedly crossed her legs.

"But he's right," suddenly the person in the group who hadn't said anything yet spoke up. She lifted her head and looked over at Bucky as he continued: "You look really beautiful."

Surprised, she looked at him and didn't know exactly what to say in return, while her cheeks took on a barely noticeable Rosaton: "Thanks."

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Clint leaning on one of his hands so that his mouth was covered. Although she couldn't see it, he knew he was grinning broadly and quite knowingly. No matter how hard he tried, she knew him well enough to read his body language.

She briefly looked over at him and gave him a sour look, but then looked back at the group and tried not to show anything.

"So, is Tony drunk yet?", she simply asked to change the subject, as she didn't want to do any more of Clint's innuendos. Besides, what Bucky had said made her nervous. Normally she had enough self-confidence, but with him, it was somehow different.

"The party had just begun," Clint interjected. Natasha couldn't resist a little laugh: "You know that doesn't have to mean anything."

The archer thought about it for a moment but then nodded at her in agreement. Tony could drink at any time of the day when he wanted and the fact that the party had just started was certainly not a great restriction for the millionaire.

About ten minutes later Steve had separated from the group and had approached a group of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents whom he seemed to know quite well.

"Nat?", Clint's pleading voice sounded next to her as she placed her now emptied glass on the glass table in front of her.

"Yes?", she looked over at him with a questioning look. In his voice, one had been able to perceive a pleading tone, which immediately made her suspicious. In the meantime, she knew the man well enough to know that this was not a good sign.

"Can you be a treasure and get me a drink from the bar?" He pushed the lower lip slightly forward and looked at her from big eyes: "Please."

She rolled her eyes. Why hadn't it been clear to her from the start that it was such a favor he would ask of her?

"I don't know if this is a good idea", she gave him a warning look. So far it seemed as if he either couldn't take that much or would just find his way to the bar a few times too often at such events.

"Oh come on, Nat," he asked and his look made it hard for her to stand firm: "Another glass won't make me mutate into Tony. After all, I only drink at special events like this one. Can't you do me this one favor?"

Sighing, she realized that he was right. She also knew that it wasn't often better at such parties.

"All right, I'll be right back," she slowly rose from her previous position and smoothed the fabric of her dress one more time as she stood back on her feet: "I'll be right back."

"You're a real treasure," grinning her best friend was a kissing hand that managed to make her grin. He always manages to make her smile.

"Yes, I know," she laughed amusedly and then set herself in motion.

She didn't even need a second to find her way in the small crowd that had arrived in the meantime. She pushed herself through between the clusters of people and moved purposefully towards the bar.

Once there, she leaned on the bar, but the mixer was busy with someone else. So she looked back at Bucky and Clint, who were still sitting on the sofas. But at that moment she saw Clint waving to the dark-haired man and whispering something to him. There was nothing special about it, but the look on their faces told her that they were talking about something that not everyone should notice. Suddenly a thought crept in. Had Clint just tried to get rid of them so he could talk to Bucky undisturbed? But about what?


	22. Chapter 22

Just as Natasha was taking Clint's drink, she felt two hands suddenly lying on her hips. Surprised, she drove around and noticed Bucky behind her. He grinned slightly and looked even better in the slightly dimmed light than before.

"Man, James, must you scare me like that", she asked, but let her gaze wander over him.

"I'm sorry", he said, and you could believe that he was serious. "Are you here to spare me the trip back to Clint?", she tried to ignor his hands were still resting on her hips. The touch, however, chased a comforting shiver through her body.

"No, not directly," he printed slightly.

"Why then?" she asked further and observed every change in his face.

"What would you think if Clint got his drink himself," he suggested:"And we'll do something else."

Her eyebrows raised a little, but he had aroused her interest: "And what exactly do we do?

"Have you ever danced with a man from the forties? If not, this is your chance now," he held out his hand invitingly. She made a superior face. Since Steve's dance skills had never been particularly overwhelming, this would be her first dance with a man from the time. And if he offered it that way, there was no reason to refuse. But at that thought, her heart began to beat faster and she noticed how slowly slight nervousness spread in her. But she tried to hide it from him as best she could.

"All right, I'll go for it", she put her hand on his: "But only this one time."

"That's enough for me", he gently pulled away from the bar, towards the middle of the room where other people were already dancing. Only when she listened did she notice that suddenly a slow song was playing.

Bucky's lips had a big grin on them and he seemed surprisingly happy. She didn't even know that he loved to party. When he seemed to have found a good place, he let go of her hand and turned back to her. Knowing exactly what he was doing, he laid his hands on her hips again, pulling them slightly towards him. This made her shudder slightly yet again. Following her instinct, she placed her arms on his shoulders and crossed her fingers in his neck.

It took them a few seconds, but then they finally found their way into the rhythm of the song and began to move in line with it. The dark-haired man didn't seem to be quite happy with it yet. So he took a step closer to them. With that, he closed the remaining centimeters between them.

His chest pressed lightly against her upper body and she could feel the body heat surrounding him. Suddenly she got warm and her clothes felt far too thin. A pleasant smell rose into her nose and she sighed slightly. He still smelled as good as before and a pleasant feeling of relaxation spread through her.

Without her being able to explain it exactly, it suddenly felt like it did more than ten years ago. Relaxed, she laid her head down on his shoulder while they moved almost synchronously.

At that moment she blinded everything around her and closed her eyes for a few seconds.

"You are so breathtakingly beautiful," she heard his soft whisper and could feel him driving through her hair, almost in a loving gesture.

"And I can't explain it to myself, but you feel so familiar," he whispered and made her open her eyes again. Her heart was beating faster right away. He was right. Their bodies still seemed to have been made for the other as they had been then.

No matter how hard she tried to deny it, the more time she spent with him, the more comfortable she felt with him again. And it became harder and harder for her to keep the old feelings in her memories and not allow them to sneak back into the present and her heart. When Bucky first arrived at the Tower, she had tried to isolate herself from her old feelings, pretending that he had never been more to her than a friend or acquaintance of Steve.

Although she knew he didn't remember, it still felt that way. And not just for her. He also felt a connection to her without being able to explain it to himself. Like an inescapable attraction that drew him to her like magic. But he had no idea why. From time to time, however, she showed certain reactions when he spoke of the time in his life that Steve knew nothing about. This made his head think that she knew more.

And Bucky would give a hell of a lot to know what she hadn't told him yet but didn't want to put pressure on her. Especially since she had already helped him so much so far. Maybe her suspicious hesitation had nothing to do with him and was none of his business. If it was important, he would know something about it. He was sure of that.

"You don't dance badly," she said after a few minutes, which they had both enjoyed in silence. While speaking she raised her head to see his reaction exactly.

"What did you expect?", he said with a broad grin: "In my time you just knew how to do this right.

"I would be quite interested in what you can do so well," a slight smile appeared on her lips, in which he thought he saw a devilish trait. He pinched her eyes slightly together and looked into her eyes for a moment with an inquiring look, whereby he bent over slightly: "The alcohol is slowly showing its effect."

She needed a moment to understand what he meant and wanted to answer something. But then she saved it for herself because she also slowly noticed the effect. Maybe it was better anyway if she didn't think about correcting it. So she just mumbled a neutral "Hm" and laid her forehead gently against his, allowing her to look him in the eye and feel his warm breath on her face.


	23. Chapter 23

"I think somebody better put Natasha to bed before she does any shit," Bucky mumbled to the man next to him. His eyes were on Natasha, sitting across from them on the sofa, making a rather lost impression. This was obviously due to the alcohol she had consumed in the last few hours.

"I think you should do it," Clint replied with a slight grin.

"Why?", he asked and raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, just trust me," the blonde buddy put a hand on his shoulder: "After all, my advice to dance with her was good, too."

Bucky sighed. He was right about that. It had even been a great idea.

"All right", he got up and strolled over to the woman.

Even before he had even reached her, she lifted her head and smiled slightly at him: "Hey, Sergeant."

When she called him that, he had to stifle his grin with all his might: "Hey, Romanoff. I think now is the time for you to go to sleep."

"Is it?" she asked a little provocatively and looked at him provocatively. But he remained steadfast: "Yes, it is."

Prompted, he stretched out his hand towards her: "Come on. Be reasonable."

A little annoyed, she moaned, but then gave in and grabbed his hand so that he could pull her up from the sofa.

Fortunately, she didn't stand as wobbly on her legs as he had expected. Nevertheless, he put an arm around her hips. Just to be on the safe side, of course.

"You might have been able to hold back a little on alcohol," he rebuked slightly, after which she just looked at him in a snap: "Have you ever spent an entire evening with the boys? Especially with Steve and Tony, who seems to have nothing to do but argue anyway."

"Hm", he sighed and had to agree with her somehow.

"But at least I still have Clint," she said and then mumbled so quietly that he could hardly hear it: "And you."

Shortly afterward they had arrived in front of their room and he pushed the door open to let them in. On her own, she released herself from his grip and moved towards her bed. Plump she let herself sink on it and stripped off her high heels. Then she looked over again to Bucky, who had leaned against the door frame in the meantime and seemed to be watching her. Once again he couldn't help but notice how great she looked.

"Do you just want to stand there and look over at me?" she asked while she pushed the blanket slightly to the side.

"Maybe," he said with a slight grin.

"Stalker," she grinned broadly and rose again from the mattress to go over to her wardrobe.

"What are you up to," his voice sounded again, but she didn't turn to him.

"What does it look like?" she asked and opened the cupboard doors: "I'll change. Or did you assume that I would go to bed like this?"

Now she looked over her shoulders to him and, to support her statement, stroked her hands over her body, noticing how he let his gaze wander over her. And even though he tried to hide this reaction from her, Natasha had still noticed her exactly. Bucky lowered his head and turned his eye to the ground under his feet.

She opened the zipper of her dress before she stripped off the garment and took a white T-shirt and a pair of shorts out of the closet. Quickly she put both on and closed the door again after hanging off her dress. "Is the floor so interesting?", with an interested look, she also looked at the spot he seemed to be looking at and supported her hands in the sides.

Since her words made him suspect that she was finished, he raised his gaze again: "Yes, very much."

"More interesting than me," she grinned slightly, whereupon he just tilted his head slightly and looked at her a little reproachfully. That reminded him again that she had been drinking. Otherwise, he wouldn't get anything like that from her.

"Natasha", he sounded a little warning at the same time and on the other hand, he wanted to avoid having to answer. The longer he thought about it, the clearer it became to him that the next day she would almost certainly not remember anything he said now.

"Yes?", she continued to ask, however, and took a few steps towards him. Only before him did she stop and look at him with a challenging look. He sighed, but then began to speak: "No, not more interesting than you."

A small, happy smile appeared on her lips and she seemed to look at every inch of his face.

"Don't look at me like that," he said and noticed how she leaned over to him easily. An electric crackle had spread in the small room that still separated her, making his heartbeat slightly faster.

"I think you should go to bed now, Nat,' he reminded not only her but himself, why they had gone into her bedroom at all.

Slightly pouting she looked at him, but then sighed and brought more distance between her again. He couldn't explain it, but somehow it felt like he could suddenly breathe a sigh of relief and the slight nervousness that had slowly spread inside him left him again. Why did this woman only manage to evoke such, otherwise so atypical, thoughts and feelings in him?

"All right," she mumbled, understanding, and stepped over to her bed. To be honest, he hadn't counted on this sudden agreement, as she seemed all too happy to discuss it with him before.

"Are you sleeping with me tonight?" she asked and then added something else: "Here."

Bucky watched her go over to the bed and crawl under the blanket. She didn't notice his indecisive facial expression. He shouldn't do that! It would simply be wrong. Therefore, after a few seconds of reflection, he shook his head as her eyes met again: "That's not possible, Nat."

"Why," she asked, leaning on her elbows. He smiled slightly: "Because you're drunk and wouldn't want that tomorrow."

"How do you know?" She looked at him provocatively: "You haven't tried it yet." Sighing, he came up to her and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her: "I just know."

She had moved closer to him and looked up at him from her green eyes. He made it even harder for her to stand firm, but he had to. After all, it was only the alcohol that made these words come out of her mouth and that she behaved that way.

He gently stroked her red hair and looked at her beautiful face: "You should sleep now and I should go back to the others before they rip each other's heads off."

"All right," she sighed and put her head gently on his leg.

Bucky sighed. Again his heart fluttered slightly and his stomach contracted a little. She didn't make it that easy for him to walk. But he couldn't stay. If he was with her even longer, she would surely break his self-control soon.

"See you tomorrow", but he couldn't help but bend down and give her a gentle kiss on the forehead.


	24. Chapter 24

Meanwhile, the Stark Tower lay there completely still and all lights had gone out. About two hours ago all the guests had finally left and the Avengers had started to put away the biggest things. But then they had slowly moved in the direction of their beds.

So did Bucky, but he hadn't been able to sleep for a long time. Only for a few minutes, it had been enough. His thoughts had been too focused on Natasha. That's why he got up out of bed again when the silence around him became too oppressive. He sat up full of verve and drove himself with one hand through the long hair. It took a few seconds, but then his eyes got used to the darkness and he pushed himself up from the mattress.

His feet carried him as if by themselves to the door, which he opened without even thinking for a second. Since he had planned to look for Natasha again after a few hours anyway. Somehow he just wanted to make sure she was still fine after he left her alone. It wasn't so unlikely that she was puking over the toilet bowl and already regretted drinking so much. However, the man hoped for the opposite.

He tigered on quiet soles through the spacious apartment. In front of her room door, he stopped and listened for a moment. From here there was nothing to be heard to satisfy his worries. Nevertheless, he put one hand on the door handle and pressed it down slowly.

With a quiet creak, he opened the door slowly and stretched his head a bit into the room. Here, too, the light was turned off. But thanks to his good eyes he could see the bed in the middle of the room and noticed a figure lying in it. Now he set foot in the room and opened the door a bit further. He was able to identify the person as Natasha.

He took a few steps into the room so that he could see that she was lying on her back and seemed relaxed asleep. Since he had left her, she hardly seemed to have moved. A small, contented smile appeared on his lips. When she slept, she looked so peaceful and innocent as if she was just perfectly normal. Not an Avenger who fought enemies almost every day and took a lot. And not the Black Widow, who, as Steve had told him, gave her her abilities.

Just as he was about to leave the room, completely calmed by her condition, her suddenly ringing voice made him freeze: "No, you can't do that."

For a moment he just stood there motionless before looking over her shoulder. Suddenly Natasha had started to move in the sheets and mumbled something hard to understand. As he listened more closely, he realized that the words were by no means English. They sounded strangely familiar, but he still couldn't understand anything. His heart made an easy sentence.

Heavy he swallowed, indecisive what to do. Then he decided that he couldn't just walk away and leave her alone. So he went back to the bed and kneeled on the wooden floor next to it. But what she said made him shudder again: "James, stay with me. No, you can't take him away from me. Please!"

The sound of his name made him shudder and it took him a few seconds to realize she was talking about him. Because although hardly anyone used his real name, he had noticed before that she called him James now and then. But why did she ask him to stay with her? After all, she was asleep and knew impossible that he was with her right now. And who did she talk to in her dream anyway?

"Hey, Nat," he said in a soothing voice, gently stroking her hair in the hope of somehow making her relax again. He noticed her breathing normalizing noticeably. However, she still didn't seem to be free of her nightmare.

"James, I need you," she mumbled this time quieter and not as panicky as before. Much more her voice was accompanied by a pain, which made his heart heavy and suddenly caused a feeling of pain in him as well.

This time she said nothing more, so he let himself sink to his knees and tried to breathe deeply. Her last words repeated themselves again and again in his head. And then there was a picture of them again, pushing its way into his mind.

They were in a dark, bare room and he was surrounded by some people who tied him to a mesh. Then he heard her again, exactly the words she had called before and Bucky raised his head. This opened his eyes to Natasha. Again she looked younger. Maybe just twenty. Two muscular men had grabbed her by the arms and tried to keep her away from Bucky. But she fought with her hands and feet as best she could against those who held him captive. Using all her strength, she tried to get to Bucky: "No, you can't take him from me. Please, I need him!"

But then suddenly a hell of pain spread all over his body, making him believe that it would tear him apart at any moment. He ran through his veins and paralyzed his joints.

All of a sudden the memory broke off and Bucky was back in the here and now. Without realizing it, he had sunk to the ground. He kept holding her hand tightly clasped in his. His breath was heavy, while he tried to calm down with all his strength. But he could no longer get the picture out of his head.

After a few minutes, in which he had just sat there and held her hand, he slowly rose and let go of her hand after a few seconds. Luckily she seemed to have calmed down again and slept just as peacefully as before.

Bucky stroked through her hair and slowly moved towards the door. Now he had to know. What kind of memory had that been? And since Natasha was sleeping so peacefully again, there was only one other way for him to learn more. Behind him, he closed the door as quietly as possible. Then he set himself in motion again with a beating heart.


	25. Chapter 25

When the stubborn knocking sounded again at his door, Clint groaned annoyed. But the sleep was over anyway. So he leaned on his elbows, switched on the bedside lamp, and raised his tired voice: "What's up?"

If Steve, Tony or Bruce now stuck their heads in, he would get too much. It had to be after two o'clock and he didn't want to settle another degenerate argument or something like that. It was not the right time for that.

The person who then stepped into his room, however, he would not have expected in the dream.

"Bucky," Clint asked in surprise as the man stepped into the room. He blinked once to make sure he saw right. But that didn't change anything about the person standing there in the door frame. Now he sat up completely and looked at him irritated.

"Hey, Clint," Bucky greeted him and pushed himself off the door frame. There was something agitated in his voice. Had anything happened?

"Come in", Clint offered the man immediately. There had to be an important reason why the other one was snowing into his room at this time. In the meantime, the two had spent so much time together that he thought he could judge him at least a little.

"Bucky?"Clint pulled his legs against his body so that Bucky could sit down on his bed. Bucky let himself sink onto the mattress and looked over at Clint. He could see a dissolved expression in his eyes. Before the dark-haired man began to speak, he swallowed hard once: "I think it's time that we talked."

That Clint had no idea what he wanted from him was something you could see: "About what?"

"Natasha", Buck lifted the view from the floor he had been staring at before.

For a moment Clint froze. If he started like that, it certainly didn't mean anything good.

"What about her?", he went after anyway. When it came to his best friend, he always had an open ear.

"I was just with her," Bucky started to talk. Then his eyebrows raised: "Why were you with her?"

His gaze told Bucky what he was thinking, and the soldier quickly shook his head, defending himself: "Not for the reason you're thinking of."

Clint's eyebrows lowered again, but although he believed Bucky, he didn't think the other was so impossible. Finally, he noticed the obvious attraction between Bucky and Natasha. And he was certainly not the only one in the team.

"I was just with her to see if she was all right," he explains to Clint, "and just as I was about to leave, she started talking in her sleep."

This explanation alone was enough for Clint to know what would follow. After all, he knew Natasha's nightmares well enough himself. Nevertheless, he didn't get in his way but simply continued to listen as a bad feeling began to creep upon him.

"She called for me, Clint," when he said that, Clint's heart became heavy. There was something hurt in Bucky's eyes and he knew it must have broken Bucky's heart to see her like that. After all, he usually felt the same way when she was lying next to him calling for help. But then he couldn't do more than just be there and hold her in his arms. But he knew that Bucky could do more and that Natasha was at least as important to him as Clint himself. To be able to help her, he just had to know everything.

"When I took her hand to talk to her and calm her down, I got a new memory again," Bucky continued: "And it was about us again, Natasha and me. This is already the second time and now I just have to know. I need to know where I know them from and what that was about us".

Shit, Clint thought and swallowed hard. Now he was in a real dilemma. On the one hand, he had promised Natasha, his best friend and the person in this world he trusted most - and she trusted him at least as much - not to say a word about it. To no one. On the other hand, however, his heart told him that it was right to break his silence and that he would be doing not only Bucky but Natasha a huge favor. Even if she didn't believe it yet.

"And I know for a fact that you know more," Bucky revealed and gave him a begging look: "You must help me, Clint. Tell me everything!"

Clint moaned soberly. He hated this tricky situation.

"Bucky, I can't do that", while he spoke, he almost sounded desperate.

"Do you want her to be happy?" Bucky fixed his face with his eyes right on it.

"Of course I do," he said and let himself sink back easily into the pillows.

"Then tell me," Bucky asked again. Clint stared concentrated at the blanket above him. The longer they talked about it, the more his desire to keep the promise collapsed.

Silence spread throughout the room for a few minutes and Clint just stared at him as he thought. But then he sat upright again and looked at Bucky: "All right, but not a word to Natasha".

A joyful smile appeared on his lips: "Thank you, Clint. I'll never forget that."

The archer took another deep breath before he began to tell: "Years ago there was an organization in Russia. The Red Room. There the employees had made it their business to turn people into lethal weapons. That's why they made twenty-eight girls, who no one would miss, their own and made them participants in the Black Widow program. Natasha - then Natalia - was one of them. They were trained in the Red Room and had to fight each other again and again until only one was left. As you can imagine, she was the winner."

Shortly he came to a halt and took another deep breath. He was one of the few to whom she had told about it and as she spoke, her picture crept back into his mind when she told him her story for the first time. It had perhaps been the only time he had seen her cry.

He quickly tried to drive the thought out of his head and continued: "And then you came into play. After she had become the Black Widow, she was trained further. They wanted to make her the best assassin they knew. That's why they made you their coach. So most of what she can do, she learned from you."

Bucky's jaw was slightly down and he just stared at Clint. So that's how they knew each other?! He had been their coach. That at least explained why he remembered her for the first time when he was fighting. But what was he doing with the feelings that had come back with the memories?

As soon as he had thought the thought through, it suddenly hit him with full force. He slightly closed his eyes and fixed Clint in the hope that he could see when his counterpart didn't answer the next question truthfully: "We had something, didn't we?"

The blonde lowered his gaze to his hands and looked for a way to avoid this question. He was just approaching a border that he was not supposed to cross.

"Can't you answer the question yourself," Clint muttered, but didn't lookup.

"So yes," Bucky concluded without further ado. He didn't depend on the other person's answer. If he was honest, he could answer the question himself. Where else would these strange feelings that arose in him when he was near Natasha come from? The fact that they had once had something to do with each other was the perfect explanation.

"Hmm," Clint mumbled quietly, but Bucky had heard the hesitant sound anyway. For a moment, his heart stopped beating and his breath went away. How could he have forgotten such a thing?

"U - And have we loved each other?" Now the voice of the soldier was also quieter and something cautious had spread in it. This time he was able to answer even before Clint said it: "Yes, ... I think you could call it that."

"Oh", it escaped Bucky and he had to lean on the mattress when suddenly a strange feeling spread inside him. It was as if the floor under his feet had been torn away and for a moment he was in a timeless limbo. And then a familiar feeling took his place. Pictures filled his head and emotions made his heartbeat stop for a moment. In contrast to the previous paintings, however, there were so many memories that he could hardly recognize one scene exactly. Suddenly it was as if something had flipped a switch in his head and set off a sudden flood of memories without warning.


	26. Chapter 26

Still, a little sleepy Natasha shuffled out of her room towards the kitchen. Although last night's alcohol had left its mark, she had slept surprisingly well. Because even if she had briefly felt a nightmare stretching out its wings to her, there had been something that had somehow managed to protect her from it.

Just as she was about to take a step into the kitchen, someone gently grabbed her by the arm. Surprised, she drove around and noticed Clint behind her. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she got a word out, he certainly pulled her with him.

"What the fuck, Clint," she pushed open and then followed him reluctantly. Only in a quiet corner did her best friend come to a halt again. Irritated, she stared at him: "What was that then?"

But when she noticed the look on his face, she fell silent for a moment, hoping to find out what was going on by just looking at him. But that didn't help much. She pulled up her eyebrows and looked at him suspiciously: "Clint."

She drew the name extra long.

"Hmm," he murmured but avoided her gaze noticeably.

"What did you do?", she looked at him seriously and already suspected nothing good.

"Okay, please don't freak out," he reached for her hands while he looked at her carefully. She looked at him expectantly and waited for him to continue speaking. He opened his mouth and she noticed exactly how he took a deep breath before he started to talk: "Bucky came to me last night."

She tilted her head. Already now she knew that she wouldn't like what he had to say.

"And he wanted to know something," Clint continued slowly. He could see that he did not feel very comfortable in this situation.

"Man, Barton, get to the point' that he was talking so much around the bush, slowly made her nervous: 'What did he want from you?"

"Promise me first that we'll still be friends! You can't undo it anyway," he said and looked at her pleadingly.

"Promised," she said honestly, hoping that he would finally speak out.

"He came to me yesterday after he got a second memory in which you could be seen," Clint explained in a noticeably quiet voice: "And after I thought about it, I decided to tell him everything."

It took a moment for her to realize what he had just said. Then, however, her jaw folded down and she stared at him in amazement: "You didn't do that. Tell me it's just a joke!"

Clint swallowed hard, but decided to go on, hoping to save it somehow: "Believe me, Nat, it's better this way. He deserves to know and you never would have told him yourself."

"You broke my trust," she broke away from him and looked at him disappointed. He couldn't have told Bucky everything. The thought that he could now know everything paralyzed the redhead for a moment.

"Yes, I know," there was something apologetic in his look as he held her so she wouldn't just disappear: "But it was better, Tasha. I saw how much he wanted to hear it. He certainly wouldn't have left until I told him."

He paused briefly and fixed Natasha's eyes with his: "He said that's exactly what he needed to hear so he could remember. Everything!"

She froze instantly and her lips shared slightly. Everything? Did Clint just say that Bucky remembered everything? Without exception? This thought threw everything in her head into confusion and both fear and joy spread to her at the same time. Overstrained, she just stared at Clint as her heartbeat accelerated.

Suddenly her anger was swept away. Sighing, she leaned her head against the wall behind her. Although her best friend had broken the promise she had taken from him, perhaps that had been the best way. And as he had said, she couldn't undo it anyway.

"I'm so sorry", he stressed once again, unsure of what this sudden silence on her part meant. He had expected her to yell at him and be angry. But she only shook her head slowly and breathed deeply. What was she going to do now?


	27. Chapter 27

As soon as breakfast was over, everyone set off again to take care of their things. Natasha had joined the others after a few minutes. However, she had been absent during the whole meal and lost in her thoughts. The fact that Bucky knew everything again had kept her too busy. Although this had been the real goal of the collaboration with Steve and Bucky, she didn't know what to do now that the time had come. On the one hand, she was happy for him, of course, but on the other hand, she was unusually insecure. If she was honest with herself, she still had feelings for him. But she didn't know how he felt about it and maybe she didn't even want to know. Finally, it could also be that he didn't feel that way anymore.

She rose from the table with her dishes in her hand and walked towards the sink. With one hand she turned on the tap and began to wash her plate. The cool water did her good and helped her focus back on reality. Just as she was about to put the plate on the counter, she heard someone enter the empty kitchen. But she didn't turn around, she just went on.

She didn't notice that it was Bucky who had entered the room. For a moment he stopped in the doorway and watched the woman hesitantly. She stood in front of the sink and seemed busy. The man swallowed heavily. He had thought about something with the help of Clint, with whom she was slowly beginning to build something like a friendship. Although he had all his memories back by now, it still wasn't the same. After all, they had been separated for several years, so he didn't know them as well as he used to. Clint, on the other hand, was her best friend and knew her as she was now. Besides, his tips had always worked well so far. So maybe she would get involved with this too.

He stepped further into the room and cleared his throat slightly. So he made her leave the rest of the dishes and turn around. When she saw him, the mixed feelings in her, which she had suppressed only a few minutes ago, awakened again.

"Hey", he smiled slightly but noticed that she didn't seem to know how to react. But how could he blame her? After all, he was no different. He had no idea how she felt about him. Because at first, she had been against helping him, so that he had had to persuade her and even then she had still kept her common past secret from him. But that didn't make him angry. Perhaps he would not have done otherwise if he had been in the same situation. Nevertheless, the fact that he didn't know whether he was still important to her just wouldn't let go of him. Although he couldn't explain it to himself, he still felt something for her even after all these years.

"Hey," she replied and her eyebrows raised: "What's up?"

Instead of answering, he took a few steps in her direction and leaned next to her against the kitchen counter: "I'm sorry I persuaded Clint to break his promise. Please don't be mad at him."

She turned his head and nodded: "Yes, I know. And I'm not mad."

Surprised, Bucky stared at her. He hadn't expected that. Rather, he had assumed that she would at least yell at Clint and be angry at both men. She had noticed his look as she continued: "After all, he's right. You would never have known if he hadn't told you."

Natasha's gaze was directed at her fingers.

"It's okay, Nat," he stretched out his hand to hers and gently grabbed it. He crossed his fingers with hers and came a bit closer to her: "I probably wouldn't have done it differently."

She leaned slightly against his shoulder and looked up at him. It was good to hear that from him. Since she had come closer to Bucky, she had felt worse and worse because she hadn't told him.

"So we should probably thank Clint," she muttered and Bucky stroked her hair with her free hand.

"Don't worry. I already did that," he explained to her. But she shook her head anyway: "Nevertheless I have to do that, too. He is my best friend and only wanted the best for me."

"But before you do that, I have something to discuss with you first," he said with the language about why he had come to her. She swallowed easily and noticed how her heart made an easy sentence: "What then? "

"I've thought of something," he began and kept eye contact with her, drawn into his spell by her green eyes. In it, he noticed something insecure, which is why he continued: "I wanted to ask you if you would eat with me today".

Immediately her eyebrows raised and she looked at him in surprise. She hadn't expected that. But when she thought about it for a moment, until she shook her head on her lower lip: "Sorry, Bucky, but I can't do that".

"Oh," he lowered his gaze slightly.

"Not because I don't want," she said quickly when she noticed his dejection: "I just have to be ready when the Avengers are needed. That's why I can't just go out for dinner with you. Besides, after the alien thing, it's not so easy to go somewhere private."

So she got him to look at him again: "Right, that's what Steve meant once. I hadn't thought about that at all."

"But we could also eat here and watch a movie," she struck with a little smile.

"That sounds like a good idea," he agreed with her and couldn't resist a big grin.

If she was honest, she wanted to spend time with him. Even if she had thought before that she would avoid him. However, she felt comfortable in his presence and didn't mind if it stayed that way a little longer.


	28. Chapter 28

Natasha was sitting on her bed with her laptop on her lap. She was about to start a report, which she had been pushing around for a long time when there was a knock at the door. Her concentration broke again and she looked in the direction the knocking had come from.

"Yes," she asked with a surprised look, not expecting to be disturbed by anyone that evening.

The door handle was pushed down by the person behind the door and then opened. Bucky stuck his head inside, looking in with interest.

"Hey," he grinned broadly as he spotted her on the bed and stepped into the room. A little smile appeared on her lips as she looked at him: "Hey, what brings you to me?"

"You," he replied, approaching her bed. There he let himself sink onto the mattress next to her and tried to lie on the screen: "What are you doing?"

She sighed, "I'm writing a report."

He immediately noticed her unhappy expression on her face. So he took the laptop from her lap and closed it: "I can think of something more interesting you could do."

He aroused her curiosity and she looked at him with interest: "I'm all ears."

In the last few days both of them had certainly slowly touched each other again, but both sides couldn't stop flirting with each other again and again. It just felt too good for both assassins.

"I had told you that I would take you out to dinner," he explained and stretched out his inviting hand to her. She slightly pinched her eyes and looked at him inquiringly, but then grabbed his hand with a slight smile: "All right."

With a satisfied grin, he pulled her down from the bed and led her out of the room. She willingly accompanied him. After all, this was more than a welcome change.

When she left her room, she immediately noticed the obvious absence of the others. Contrary to everyday life the living room was tidy and no one was scurrying around as usual.

"Where are the boys?" Natasha asked Bucky, who slowly led her into the living room.

"I got them ... busy", grinning broadly he looked down at her. As soon as they had arrived at the living room table, he moved a chair quite gentlemanlike to the side so that she could sit down. With a grateful look, he sat down and then asked further: "Busy?"

"I gave them tasks," he told her before he disappeared into the kitchen and out of her sight.

She leaned slightly against the back of the chair and used the undisturbed moment to give in to the broad grin that she had held back. So he had wanted to be alone with her!

At first, she wouldn't have thought so, but now she was really happy that he had all his memories back. That makes her interactions so familiar and she enjoyed his presence.

When she heard steps behind her, she turned her head towards the kitchen and noticed Bucky behind her. Self-confident, he ran back towards the table with the two plates in his hands. He stopped in front of her and put one of the two dishes in front of her. Then he stepped around the dining room table again and sat himself down again.

She took a look at the plate and only now noticed how hungry she was. The pleasant smell of the noodles with pesto rose into her nose and the saliva began to converge in her mouth.

"I didn't even know you could cook," she teased slightly as she rolled the noodles onto her fork and then slowly pushed herself into her mouth.

"Well, you don't know everything about me yet," he replied laughing and began to eat himself.

"I don't know," she asked, shocked and played.

"No, but you already know a lot," he admitted with a grin.

"Well, then I am reassured," she contentedly said.

After they had just eaten quietly for a few minutes and enjoyed the moment, she raised her voice again: "Meanwhile I'm pretty happy that you know everything now".

As she spoke, she kept her eyes on his face to see his reaction exactly. Because although she was sure that he was also happy to have his memories back, she was not sure if he was also happy that she was a part of them. So far they had both avoided talking about anything like feelings.

"Me too, you can believe me," he replied with honesty and radiance in his eyes. She couldn't describe it, but every time he spoke to her, she felt that he meant it exactly as he said it. Only when he made obvious jokes or teased her was it different.

His answer made her smile again easily and her heartbeat accelerated slightly. Bucky managed to get an emotion out of her again and again that she hadn't had with anybody else. Because even though she had started something with men for missions, of course, there hadn't been any real feelings in the game.

Half an hour later both had eaten up and were full. They had been talking about everything for a while and had forgotten everything around them for a moment, Natasha. Only when he pushed the plate away and she realized that her meal was already over.

It was written in her face that she didn't want it to end yet because he grinned broadly: "You don't think this is the end already, do you?"

"No", she shook her head quickly, while a light, for her quite atypical, a touch of excitement began to blitz in her, because she had no idea what she was up to.

"Well then, that's fine," Bucky rose from the chair and then stepped around the table to hold a hand to her again. He gently pulled her up and then led her across the hall to a door she couldn't assign to any of her teammates.

"Where are we going," she asked curiously and watched as he pushed down the door handle.

"Into my room," he explained to her as he pushed open his room door.


	29. Chapter 29

She stopped in the door frame and looked at him with her eyes raised. "Please don't look at me like that", he took her face in his hands: "I just want to watch a movie with you and thought it would be more comfortable on my bed. Nothing more".

"All right," she smiled slightly and gently snuggled her cheek against his hand: "I've just never been here before, in your room."

"Well then", he let her go and made an inviting gesture into the room: "Make yourself at home".

At the invitation, she took a few steps into the room. Her gaze wandered through the room, which was not so different from her own. However, one could see that he hadn't lived here as long as the others, because his personal touch and the traces of use were missing.

From behind, Bucky slung her arms around her hips and put her chin on her shoulder: "And? Can you imagine staying here with me for the rest of the evening?"

Without thinking long about it, she nodded:"If you want me here, I'd love to."

"Of course," he said immediately, almost sounding a little surprised, before adding with complete honesty in his voice:"I'd like to have you around me all the time."

Surprised, she turned her head slightly so that she could look him in the eye. A slight smile had spread on his lips and he bent slightly forward so that their faces were now even closer. She couldn't stop her gaze from falling on his lips for a few seconds before looking up again and fixing his eyes.

For a few seconds, none of them said anything and they just looked at each other. But then he withdrew and let her go. With a slightly perplexed look, she watched him go towards the TV and turn it on. "Do you want to choose a film this time," he asks, looking over his shoulder.

"No, no, you go ahead," she just waved off and then walked up to his bed.

"So my choice wasn't so bad last time, was it?" he teased with a broad grin and started looking for a suitable film. Although this was just what he was least interested in.

"Maybe," she murmured and immediately knew that she just didn't want to admit that he had good taste. That's why he couldn't resist an amused smile. Then she just rolled her eyes. When he noticed this, he immediately walked towards her and climbed up to her on the bed where she had already settled.

"I saw that very clearly," he said, making an insulted face.

Although she knew that he was only playing it, she wanted him to be happy again. So he approached him, raised his arm to lay it around her own body and snuggle up to him. She leaned her head against his chest and looked up at him: "Don't make such a face."

Her warm body on his own made his heartbeat noticeably faster. However, this time he didn't worry that she would notice. Because even if he didn't know what she was feeling, he didn't mind letting her know that he had a feeling for her that drew him to her like magic. He tightened his arm around her so that he could feel her in him and feel that he could hold her at least for this one moment and only have her for himself.

Pressing the remote started the film and she looked at the screen hoping to find out what he had picked out for a film. But his eyes were more on her and he didn't get enough of watching her.

After trying to concentrate on the film for a few minutes, she gave it up. The man next to her was just too distracting. Feeling his body on hers again was a breathtakingly good feeling. Only now did she realize how much she had missed him.

So she turned her eyes away from the screen and looked at him instead. This made her realize that he must have been watching her the whole time. Slightly grinning, she put a hand on his cheek: "He's not so interested in you after all."

"Yes," he grinned without feeling caught by her for a second: "But I prefer to look at the beautiful woman next to me."

Immediately Natasha felt her cheeks getting warm and she put her forehead to his. This left their faces only a few inches apart and she could feel his breath on her face.

"Nat", he hauled slightly and she nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again and decided to save his words. Instead, he took all his courage and closed the last few inches between them.

Gently he laid his rough lips on their soft ones and pulled them to himself as close as he could. Without being perplexed for just a second, Natasha returned the kiss immediately. One could almost believe that she had been waiting for it.

Natasha kept her eyes closed and enjoyed the feeling of his lips on hers as a hot tingling sensation spread all over her body. With his fingers he gently stroked her side, deepening the kiss even more. It felt so natural and good to kiss him as if they had never stopped being so close and never been apart.

When they released again, breathing heavily, he didn't retreat, but kept her close to him and started stroking her fingers through her hair. For a few seconds, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. This was the right moment to ask the question that had been on her mind the whole time. The answers, however, frighten her more than she had expected.

He also noticed her hesitation, for before she had noticed it correctly, a questioning expression had suddenly spread across his face.

"Natasha, what's the matter?" there was a worried tone in his voice.

"Do you love me again?", she asked slowly and with noticeable insecurity in her voice as she looked almost at his eyes. At first, he just looked at her, but then began to nod: "Who says that I ever stopped?"

That was enough to spread a broad grin on her lips.

"At first I couldn't remember it, but even so I always felt something when I was around you," he explained whispering as he continued to calm her hair with his fingers: "And now I also know why. I just still love you. Even after all those years when we were separated, I still want you just as much."

Those words were exactly what she had seen herself since she had seen him again after such a long time. But she had tried to put her feelings for him in her memories and wanted to hide from them. Bucky, however, had worked against it with every second he spent with her, simply tearing down her carefully erected walls.

"I love you too," she replied and started kissing him again.


	30. Chapter 30 - The end

Later than usual, Natasha opened her eyes. Immediately she felt an unusual warmth and after a few seconds, she realized the strong arms that were wrapped around her body. It took a moment, but then she realized again where she was and remembered what had happened the previous evening.

Natasha looked over her shoulder and noticed Bucky there. To her amazement, Bucky wasn't asleep anymore. Instead, he had put his forehead against her bareback and seemed to enjoy her closeness.

But when he noticed that she was beginning to move in his arms, he raised his head. With one elbow she leaned on the mattress to look at it.

"Morning, darling," he pressed a gentle kiss on her neck and made her shiver: "Did you sleept well?"

"Tomorrow, yes, next to you I sleep surprisingly well," she replied to his greeting and was about to turn to him when someone suddenly opened the door to Bucky's room. Shocked, the two assassins jerked together and stared at the person who had just rushed into the room so abruptly.

"Steve?", Natasha was the first to find her voice again. Her gaze revealed the shock he had caused with his sudden appearance in her.

"Hey, Natasha," Steve slightly closed his eyes and frowned as he tried to analyze the situation: "I - I didn't know you were here, too."

As he spoke, it was noticeable to him that it was only now that he realized what he had just interrupted: "I didn't know at all that you ... "

"Steve!" Bucky's tone was warning and instinctively he pulled the blanket over Natasha's body a little more: "What do you want?"

You could hear that he wanted to get rid of his best friend as soon as possible.

"Uh, yeah, that's right," the blonde now remembered what originally brought him here: "Fury has a new mission for you. Together."

"Now?", there was a real surprise in Natasha's voice. After all, her boss hadn't assigned her to missions and kept her away from work in the last few weeks for some reason.

"Yes, I told him that he would let you work again... ", before he had finished speaking, he interrupted himself.

Her forehead folded and looked at him with a dark look: "Steve ... what did you do?"

"Um," he slowly took a few steps out of the room: "Just come right over to Fury."

So he left the room as fast as he could and closed the door behind him.

With her mouth open, the woman turned on her back and stared at Bucky stunned.

"He didn't do what I think he did, did he," she asked him. He had also understood what she meant: "At least that's what it sounded like right now."

"But I had no idea," he added with raised hands before he rose.

For a moment she just stared at the ceiling. Steve had her blocked for missions by Fury. He could be much more deceitful than she had ever thought when he wanted something. With that, he had made her spend more time with Bucky and finally, his tactics had somehow worked out. After all, he had gotten his memories back. He hadn't expected them to do anything with each other, judging by his look.

About ten minutes later they both left their rooms dressed. Natasha had sneaked into her room undetected to change for the mission. With Bucky in the room, she would almost certainly have been half as fast.

While they waited in front of the elevator, he let his gaze wander over her body.

"I wonder how Clint can work with you when you're wearing something like this," he alluded to her leather Black Widow suit. She rolled her eyes: "You don't know how many times I've been allowed to listen to this."

Then she grinned slightly and reached for his hand: "But we'll find a solution."

"I like the attitude," he laughed and then pulled her into the elevator with him.

 

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave comments and kudos!


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